Long Weekend

It was the usual Friday-Sunday, but it felt like much longer than that and here's why:

Friday: My usual day home with Paige. It was hmmm, how shall I say this...interesting? She has suddenly developed a bossy and defiant streak. The terrible two's have arrived at our house! "I want Cheerios. I want pudding. I want pasta. I wear brown shoes. Mama, watch out. Mama come here!" We're working on her saying "please" like "Mama can I please have Cheerios?" But it comes out like this:
Paige: "I want cheerios!"
Me:"What do you say?"
Paige: stares back, knowing full well what to say, but won't say it
Me: "Please? Say I want cheerios please"
Paige: (who normally copies my every word) "please"

UGGGHHHH!!!!!

Saturday: Guess what Mike did? If you said fishing, you're correct! I'M SO SICK OF FISHING AND CAN'T WAIT UNTIL HE STOPS GOING AT 5AM AND IS TIRED THE REST OF THE DAY BUT WON'T ADMIT HE'S TIRED. I needed some interfacing for the jammies I'm making for my mom's birthday present this Saturday and needed to get out of the house, so I took Paige to Walmart in Green Bay. She was actually quite good. Got home, fed her lunch, put her down for a nap, then volunteered at our church picnic all afternoon selling raffle tickets. Got home, and took Paige back up to the picnic for supper. Visited with some people we know, played at the park for a while, then came home and put Paige to bed. Mike went out in the garage to fix the Saturn, I went to turn on the kitchen faucet and as I shut it off, the handle popped off and the water kept running. I yelled for Mike to come in NOW and he luckily got the water to stop, but declared that we needed a new faucet. UGH!

Sunday: I take Paige to church and rather than come with us, Mike goes to Green Bay to get a new kitchen faucet. I'm still slightly peeved about that. He could've waited the hour we were in church, but nooooooo. But luckily Paige was good again in church. She got a little ancey a few times, but quiet and well behaved overall. Mike takes WAY too long in Green Bay and doesn't get home until almost lunchtime. So I put him in charge and it takes Paige an hour to eat lunch because he kept negiotiating with her. But whatever. I put her down and sit down to read the paper and watch football. About 2pm, Mike's cell phone rings and it's his dad. Him and Mike's stepmom are on their way to Green Bay to see Mike's step sister and then us, and their car is broke down in Green Bay. Mike gives them a tow truck phone number and heads down to Green Bay for the 2nd time in one day. Paige is still napping, but I lose it. I was so hoping for some time to myself, or at least for Mike to take over with Paige after her nap, but NOOOOOOO. And of course Mike or his dad had no clue if they were going to see the step sister or come straight here or whatever. Neither option was that good. They opt to see the stepsister and work on her car. Mike calls from her college and says they're going to just take a look at the car and they'll be leaving in about 15 minutes. I'm like, yeah right, but whatever. So about 10 minutes later he calls and says they're going to be at least a half hour because her car is overheating, and I go "oh you don't say! I KNEW THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!!" But they eventually all got to our house around 5:30 or so, and the step sister is carrying a huge laundry bag and the stepmom informs us that she needs to do laundry here. I'm thinking, huh? Are you going to pay me for it? But then she says they'll fold our laundry in return, which was much appreciated because we had at least 4 loads to be folded. I guess they had already worked it out with Mike, but he hadn't informed me of that. So we cooked pizza for supper and Paige ran around full of piss and vinegar showing off for them. I said that to her and Mike's dad said "oh no she's not showing off..don't call my girl a show-off." I said, "oh she sure is showing off" We went back and forth about 3 times before I finally dropped it, but it really chapped my ass. Um, I'm her mom, I know her BETTER than anyone else. So I got her in bed and worked on my sewing the rest of the night so I wouldn't have to talk to Mike's dad.

Today: They spent the night so they were in my way this morning, and Paige was extra-emotional and throwing fits left and right, so it was not a fun morning.

But we have a few fun things coming up. My dad called last night needing something to do tomorrow so he is going to come up and watch her and then we're going down to their place on Saturday for my mom's birthday. Mike isn't going because he'll be........FISHING!!!! But he said that it will be one of the last times he goes fishing for a while. I say IT will be the last time he goes fishing.

A Friendship Poem to My Ya Yas

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good,but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces here-Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;
"because you are my friend".

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Love ya girls!

Rummage Sale Update

OK, it's been a couple of days, so I don't remember everything, but here's a summary. I think I spent around $40 on Friday and got 4 pairs of pants, a dress, 3 pairs of shoes, 2 pairs of winter boots, a Blues Clues computer thing, a Leap Frog Phonics bus, a puzzle, 2 Rachael Ray cookbooks, a couple of Dr. Phil books, a Rubbermaid storage thing with 3 drawers, a shirt for myself, and a TON of books. She has plenty of clothes now!

Our weekend was a lot of fun. The wedding was really nice, and we hung out with a really fun couple. The husband was the other groomsman but his wife didn't stand up, so her and I kind of hung out when the guys were busy with wedding stuff. Saturday before the wedding, I shopped at Kohls and spent over $300. I'm returning quite a bit though, I just can't afford that. I couldn't help it though, they have such cute clothes!

My work conference was OK, some of the sessions were really good, others really boring. It was a four hour drive home, so I was SO GLAD to get here! I missed Paige so much! She changed so much in the few days I didn't see her. It's amazing how much she is talking.

I am such a klutz. I was getting gas today and tripped over the hose as it was plugged into my gas tank and actually fell down! I landed really hard on my left arm and it's really sore now. I have a digusting bruise on my knee, and my right ankle is sore too. I just about died, but I don't think anyone saw me! I was planning to go into the gas station to get a bottle of water, but changed my mind in case the person working saw me!

I am officially at my heaviest weight and I am so disgusted with my body. I'm contemplating starting WW again, but I'm just not sure if I can committ to it. If I hate my body so much and am disgusted with it, why can't I commit to a weight loss program? I must have food issues.

On that happy note...off to bed. Mama's tired!

Let the Madness Begin!

WHO HOO!!! Our citywide rummage sales started today, so I was 2 (yes, 2) hours late for work today. 1 hour was due to me not getting up until 7:15am and Paige being an overall whiny, crankypants this morning, and the other hour was rummaging.

We're broke as a joke right now, and only have $40 in our checkbook. I raided Mike's coin jar last night and picked out all the quarters and paid in quarters at 2 of the sales and for lunch today at Subway! I'm going to take out $30 to get me started at the 7am sales tomorrow morning and then run to the bank when it opens. I'm going tomorrow with a friend from work.

Today already I spent $18 and got Paige brand new snowpants, about 10 books, 3 tops, a Wiggles movie, a Little Tikes doll highchair, a winter hat, and a sweater for me! I can't wait to go tomorrow!

Mike is standing up in a wedding this weekend a couple of hours away so he has off of work tomorrow. He's going to drop Paige off at my mom and dad's tomorrow morning so I can rummage without worrying about getting back in a hurry. Then he's heading down to pick up his tux and get to the rehearsal. I'm driving separately and will probably stop and see my parents and Paige on my way down. Then I'm heading straight to a work conference on Sunday afternoon that runs until Tuesday, so I won't see Paige from Friday until Tuesday. I'm going to miss her and Mike so much! Well we're not sure if we're going to the conference because my boss didn't register us and it's full, so we'll see if they'll have room for 3 of us.

OK, it's 4:01, 1 minute past quitting time so I'm outta here!

I Say Darnit (and other Paige-isms....)

Paige has been talking so much and saying such funny things, I have to try to remember them. A few from the weekend:

"I say darnit": after farting, I asked her "what do you say" and I usually get a "scue me", but for some reason last night it was "I say darnit" and then she had to repeat herself over and over. It was pretty hilarious.

"I lay down mama's boob": after squirming around on my lap while rocking before bed, she finally found a comfy spot, and declared that it was on "mama's boob." Now she says it every time I rock her.

"I AM!!!!": after me telling her to put the puzzle together, she gives me this huge look full of attitude and proclaims "I AM!!!!!"

"Paige took a poop in her crib": fairly self explanatory, said to Mike after a nap. Luckily she was wearing a diaper!

"I got snots": again, fairly self explanatory, followed by one of the following several actions: walking up to Mike and wiping her nose on his shirt, wiping her own snot away with the back of her hand, or sucking the snot back in and whining "Paige can't blow" when I hold a kleenex up to her nose and tell her to blow. UGH!

That's all I can think of for now.

Our weekend was pretty low key. Paige has a cold, so we didn't want to do too much because she was quite tired and cranky. Mike ended up catching it and *knock on wood*, I still haven't. I catch all of her illnesses, so I'm shocked and avoiding Mike like the plague for fear of catching this cold. Anyway, Friday was our usual stay home and be bums day. Saturday morning, I went to a few rummage sales, then to Sam's club and grocery shopping in Green Bay by myself. Mike took Paige fishing, and then we went to the park after her nap. Sunday morning, Mike went fishing most of the morning, I took Paige to church ALONE, and then we played outside that afternoon. She just loves her sandbox and swing! She was so good in church and it was good to know that I can handle her alone. Then yesterday, we were major bums. I started working on the pj's I'm making for my mom's birthday. Knit is such a pita to work with. I can't get it to lay flat.

And now I'm back at work and procrastinating so I better roll. Hugs and kisses!

Saint Sara

Yep, that's my new name. I feel that it's well deserved after putting up with annoying FIL since MONDAY NIGHT!!!!!!

FIL and MIL have been divorced for about 5 years now and both are remarried. FIL is remarried to a woman we'll call "B" and she has 2 daughters, one already in college and one starting college next week. She's (Sara) going to school in Green Bay and is moving in today. So FIL drives Sara's car over here on Monday night to make sure it runs good. Tuesday, Mike has off from work because it's his birthday so they go fishing all day. Wednesday, we both had to work so FIL stayed at our house all day, and I took Paige to daycare. There's no way, I'd leave her with him, he's so useless. So I get home and he's got the TV cranked up to about 50 because he must be going deaf or something and he immediately wants to love and kiss on Paige and she wants no part of it. Well long story short, it was an extremely frustrating night until Mike got home from work because the TV was super loud, he kept falling asleep and snoring, Paige was whiny and I was trying to get supper ready and have everything done at the same time; not easy for me when I'm alone and we're cooking brats, potatoes, baked beans and corn on the cob. FIL is diabetic and when Mike asked him what he had during the day, he said a couple pieces of zucchini bread for breakfast and pudding for lunch. Pudding for lunch. Yeah, that's a healthy meal, especially for an overweight diabetic. He had to take 4 ibuprofen and 2 Vicadin just to go fishing with Mike on Tuesday because he has so many aches and pains. He kept calling Paige "my little girl" which really irritated me. I'm like, did you carry her for nine months? Did you puke several times a day for 3 months? Did you push her out of your vagina? No? Then she's NOT YOUR LITTLE GIRL!!!!!!!!

Aaahhhh, much better. Long day at work today, I'm working until about 7pm tonight at one of our school's orientation nights, encouraging people to sign up for our walking program. I WILL be in chat tomorrow!

Take My Quiz!!!!

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Back to Work

Well, OK, I've been back to work for almost the whole day already, but I'm finally just now getting around to blogging.

Madison was good. The conference was kinda boring, but it was nice to get away for a few days and be alone. I went shopping and spent too much money, as usual.

Weekend update:
Friday: went to my mom and dad's for the morning and Paige's nap, then to Oshkosh to visit a friend and her little one for a few hours. It was fun, but a lot of driving. Of course, Paige didn't nap at my parent's house, and fell asleep in the car on our way back home around 5:30pm. I knew I had at least an hour to probably 1.5 hour drive ahead of me, so I didn't know if I should let her sleep until we got home, then put her to bed right away, or stop in Green Bay and wake her up. I called Mike with my dilemma and we remembered that DUH she'd have to eat supper, so we decided I'd stop in Green Bay at her favorite restaurant to eat. She was so good, I decided to brave Joann Fabrics with her, against my better judgement at 7:10pm that night. But she was SO GOOD!!! I couldn't believe it! I was picking out fabric to make pj's for my mom for her birthday next month and couldn't find any I liked. Paige kept saying "how 'bout pink, Mama? how 'bout blue?" She kept telling the fabric cutting lady that those were "gramma's jammies" so I'm hoping she doesn't let the cat out of the bag in front of my mom!

Saturday: Mike went fishing in the AM, got home right before Paige's nap. Him and I had a very nice :) afternoon, then met some friends at the zoo and went out for pizza afterwards.

Sunday: I slept in thanks to my wonderful hubby, then had pancakes for breakfast. Spent the day playing with Paige. Lots of fun! She was in such a good mood, especially when we played outside.

I can't believe how much she is talking! She is just a little chatterbox!

Quick Update

Didn't want to leave you all thinking I was ready to jump off a cliff after last night's depressing post.
1. I got the checkbook balanced! WHO HOO!!! And we actually have money! Double WHO HOO!!!! We'll see how long the money lasts.
2. Paige woke up at the respectable time of 7am today and was in a good mood. We had a nice morning.
3. Just got done meeting with my boss and bitched about the idiots I work with. Hopefully something will get done about it.

I miss my ya yas big time! I'm blocked at work and can't chat here. Not sure if I'll be able to make it in this Friday either. Is there another site that we could try? Hugs and kisses!

Allow Me For a Moment...

to bitch, piss and moan about the following: (and in no particular order of importance, just as they come to me)
1. Rascall Flatts "What Hurts the Most" playing on POP radio. Huge pet peeve of mine. If you're a country artist, release country songs. Don't get greedy and cover it up by saying your music appeals to all.
2. Paige waking up at 6:15 am yesterday and ME HAVING TO WAKE HER UP AT 8:45 AM THIS MORNING. What's up with that? We put her to bed and down for naps at the same time every day.
3. Paige's lack of interest in the potty. I think she'll be going to kindergarden in diapers.
4. The fact that our house has been on the market for 1.5 years and I am starting to seriously wonder if it will ever sell.
5. The fact that I get a small twinge of longing when I see a baby, but I know we're not ready yet. I want a baby, but I'm not ready for a second child.
6. Paige asking Mike for something after I've already said no.
7. Paige totally ignorning me and not listening.
8. Paige shushing me, telling me to stop talking, or telling me to leave her alone when she doesn't like something I say.
9. How I've been depressed the past few weeks and wonder if I need to up my happy pill dosage. I'm just exhausted at the end of the day and have no energy.
10. How Paige is so well behaved for everyone except me and turns into a monster when I'm around.
11. The fact that I can't get my checkbook to stay balanced.
12. Everyone and everything at work is irritating me. I work in the cradle of idiocy.

OK, I think that's about it. Wow, that feels good.

Quick weekend update:
Friday: my sister came up to spend the day with Paige and watch her while Mike and I went to a concert with another couple. The concert was just Ok, I had more fun talking to the wife who is due with baby #1 in October. My sister seriously irritated me with her digs about how much TV we let Paige watch.

Saturday: Paige was a total monster in the morning, so I decided to hit some rummage sales. Was a little afraid of leaving her with Mike in the mood she was in, but he said she was really good. She just needed to be left alone, which is something that doesn't happen when anyone from my family visits, especially my sister. Highlight of my weekend was when I found a sandbox for Paige at a rummage sale. Marked at $15, asked the lady if she'd take $10 for it and she did. SCORE!!!! Actually the highlight was fitting it into the trunk of my Taurus. It just barely fit. Stopped to get sand at the hardware store and waited anxiously for her to wake up from her nap so she could see it and play with it. She LOVES it! I'm so excited! Got a shirt, a few dresses, books and a Big Bird movie at the sales.

Sunday: Slept in thanks to my wonderful hubby. Laid around like a bum around the house, put Paige down for a nap, had a little afternoon fun with the hubby =), and took Paige to the fair to see the animals. She really liked them, except for the chickens, roosters and turkeys who scared her with their loud clucking and gobbling.

Going to Madison tomorrow for a conference and am staying 2 nights. I'm kinda looking forward to getting away for a few days, but I know I'll miss Paige like crazy. My grandma lives about an hour away from Madison so I'm meeting her for supper tomorrow night. She'll be 80 soon, but you'd never know it. She's so sharp.

Aaaaahhhhh....I feel so much better now. Off to catch CSI Miami and see my boyfriend, David Caruso!

The Crankies

The crankies seem to have taken over our house for the following reasons:
One of Mike's ears has been sore for a few days, I insisted it was infected, we ran to Green Bay to a FastCare Clinic, and it turns out it wasn't infected, but he did have a Duke hair in there. Yuck. So no infection, no meds. Plus he has a mouth full of canker sores, and is crabby from those.

Paige was generally miserable all weekend and we finally figured out why today.....the 2 year molars seem to be making an appearance. YAHOO.

I worked at a car seat check on Saturday and it sucked the big one. The instructors are so nit picky and anal, and rather than telling us this new rule about the angle of infant seats over email BEFORE the event, they wait until we've installed the seat tight, and belittle us in front of the parents and make us re-install the seat, and then hem and haw over the recline. BTW, in the past to make sure the seat is at a 45 degree angle, we make sure the base of the car seat is parallel to the vehicle frame. Now the manufacturers of the car seats are saying to rely on their angle indicator alone. Well if we rely on that, the seats are too upright and baby's heads are going to be flopping forward. I finally told one instructor I don't care about the manufacturer's rules, I care about the baby's safety and I'm not sending these parents home in a seat that upright. GRRRRRRR.....

I got fucked on ebay. My Gap Jeans only sold for $15, 2 pairs of shorts for $10 and the real kicker a pair of Old Navy pants in size TALL ONLY SOLD FOR .99!!!!!! I'm so pissed. I looked at the listing and it looked good to me. I gave the measurements, had two pictures and clearly labled them as tall, and I have 79 feed back comments and they're 100% positive!!!! AGH!!!!

My parents and sister are coming tomorrow so Mike and I have been cleaning tonight. It's a Holy Day of Obligation and I forgot to call my church to find out when Mass is tomorrow and I'm sure I'll get the not going to church lecture. I just don't feel like dealing with them.

Paige whined, fussed, threw tantrums and clung to me all weekend. Mike spanked her last night after she sassed me over and over (not too happy about the spanking BTW because she kept saying "Dad spank Paige" and tonight we finally put her in time out for the first time. It seemed to work pretty well. She sat on the kitchen chair for 2 minutes. It all started when she insisted on taking 2 cups of water to bed, we said no pick either the green one or the purple one, she picked the purple one, we put the green one away and all hell broke loose. She screamed and would not calm down, and would not sit on my lap to read books before bed. We said come and sit on mom's lap before I count to 3, or you're sitting in time out. Well she sat in time out.

PHEW. I feel much better.

Paige Brag

Paige is talking up a storm, it's so darn cute! Her new word is "yeah". So we are having conversations back and forth, and she'll answer Dora when she asks questions. I love it! This morning when I went into her room to get her, the first thing she does is rub her eye and say "booger in my eye." I said "you have a booger in your eye?" (while trying not to laugh) and she goes "yeah." Her and Mike have really bonded a lot the past few weeks, so that's a relief for me.

Our weekend was quite boring, but relaxing. I worked Saturday morning, and then we all hung out at home the rest of the day. Mike was going to go fishing Saturday afternoon and evening, but I convinced him not to. Paige started saying "my go wif? my go fishing?" and pretending to reel and it was breaking my heart. So Mike decided not to go.

Our living room TV pooped out on Saturday so we headed to Green Bay to buy a new one. We debated back and forth of whether to get the nice HDTV, flat screen blah blah blah TV now, or wait on that one and get a cheapie $120 one. We got the cheapie $120 one. We are stretched so thin right now there's just no way we could take on another monthly payment. We ended up getting a 24 inch RCA that's actually really nice.

We were quite productive in Green Bay. Made a couple of returns at JCPenney's and bought a bunch of towels as a wedding gift for some friends getting married next month. Returned a bunch of stuff at Kohl's, and picked up a skirt (hopefully) in my size for this same wedding. Paige was in a mood and I wasn't able to try it on. Next headed to Old Navy to make even more returns and picked up a shirt and capris for Paige and shorts for Mike all for $17 on clearance AND on a gift card. WHO HOO! Then to the play area where I yelled at a boy who was way too old to be in there to be careful around Paige, and then to Moe's one of our favorite restaurants for supper. Paige was tuckered out and actually fell asleep while I rocked her. That NEVER happens.

I listed some workout tapes and DVD's on ebay over the weekend and some clothes today. Two of the tapes sold already, and I'm hoping everything else does, especially the clothes. They don't fit me right and are too nice to give away. One is a pair of Gap long and lean jeans so they should sell. WE NEED MONEY BAD!!!! Gas is $3.05 and rising.

I think I might work at a car seat check on Saturday morning and then we're thinking about taking Paige to the zoo on Sunday.

It's Freaking Hot

I feel so bad for Mike and anyone else working outside today. It's 95, feels like 103 and is suppposed to get up to 100 today. That's just way too hot. The dew point is 75 and our humidity is 59%. UGH. I actually feel even worse for Mike because he has to go in and out of air conditioned buildings all day. Going from 100 outside to 70 inside is just not good for you. And the sad part is it's about 65 in my office and I'm wearing a sweater.

We had to take Paige to the doctor on Friday. Thursday after her nap, my sitter called my cell phone and said Paige was limping and wanting to walk as little as possible. So Mike picked her up and he said putting her in the car seat was a nightmare. I got home and she sat on my lap all night. It was so sad. She refused to straighten her right leg, put weight on it and absolutely didn't walk all night. We gave her ibuprofen for the pain. Friday she seemed better, walking on it and not screaming when we changed her diaper, but we took her in anyway. After doing a bunch of tests on her legs and right hip, the doc. thinks she may have pinched a nerve. Makes sense because she kept saying "Paige cold" on Thursday night which was so weird because she was actually quite hot from sitting on my lap all night. She knows what cold means so we couldn't figure it out at the time, but it makes sense now. We figure that her leg was tingling and numb and she thought it was cold. Poor girl. But she's back to 100% now and not limping; thank goodness, I was a nervous nellie mom.

Saturday we were a bunch of bums. We didn't feel like doing anything so we all just hung out at home and actually napped while Paige napped. Sunday morning Mike went fishing and then we went to a friends house after her nap.

Is writing thank you notes a thing of the past now? We ALWAYS wrote prompt, personal thank you notes after receiving any kind of present when I was growing up and I still do today. A family member graduated from high school this past May and we gave her $10. We got a TYPED thank you note from her at least 6 weeks later. LAME. Even worse, was the thank you note I got on Saturday from a friend for the money we gave her at her wedding IN FEBRUARY!!!! I felt bad about writing thank you notes 3 weeks after my birthday because I thought that was too late. As I'm writing this, I'm remembering that I never wrote Terri a thank you note for the Jack's Music Show DVD's, so I'm eating crow. BUT, I do have a few things to send her as a thank you in return.

OK, back to work. I'm so bored at work and I do have things to do, I'm just not motivated at all.

Recovery Day

Well what was supposed to be a nice relaxing day to recover from our crazy "vacation" turned out to be a chaotic one. Mike is on vacation all this week so he went fishing early this morning and got home around noon.

Paige decided today was not a good day to catch up on her sleep and was up at 5:50 am. Luckily my dad was here so he got up with her. I slept until about 8am, only because I could occasionally hear Paige screeching for me and my dad shushing her. She was in fine form again today, refusing to have anything to do with my dad and only wanting me.

I laid her down around noon right before Mike got home. He ran up to the grocery store, got home, put some stuff in the chest freezer and proclaimed that it was broken. ACK!!!! So we managed to get all the meat in the upstairs freezer and decided to scrap the rest. Mike hustled down to Green Bay (a 40 minute ride) to buy a new one, and called me when he got there to have me check the electrical outlet. Turns out it is probably the outlet and not the freezer so that's good. But we'll have to call an electrician, and the freezer is kind of touchy.

Paige also decided today was a good day to only nap for an hour so she was super cranky this afternoon, which made for a LONG day. Luckily she was happy playing outside in her pool for a while this afternoon. She also played with Mike and my dad for a while tonight after supper which was nice since she avoided him so much earlier in the day. We had a lot of tantrums today since she was such a crank and I literally collapsed on my recliner after I laid her down.

I'm really hoping that she sleeps late tomorrow morning. Mike is taking her to daycare and then down to a friend's cabin to fish tomorrow and Thursday. Hopefully she'll get back on track soon.

Thank God We're Home Part 2

What a crazy couple of days. We left Friday to go up north for Mike's mom's wedding reception party. Mike got done with work about 4 hours earlier than normal, so we left around 3:15pm and got there between 7:30-8pm. Mike's brother, SIL and 2 daughters got there right after we did so with all the commotion, Paige didn't go down until about 9pm, but she went down without a peep so I was happy. We were staying at a B&B across the lake from Mike's mom's house.

Paige slept fairly well Friday night, woke up cranky, but the wheels quickly came off on Saturday morning. Got to Mike's mom's house around 11am, tried to get Paige to play in the lake or the sand around it and she screamed the entire time. She was totally clingy and whiny and Mike and I quickly reached the ends of our ropes. Mike's SIL and I went back to the B&B so our daughters could nap. Paige took a good 2.5 hour nap so I was hoping she'd be in a better mood, but my hopes were quickly dashed. We tried the lake/sand thing again, but she screamed the whole time again. We gave up and just carried her around until she was ready to run around. We got the kids back to the B&B and Paige was in bed around 9:30pm.

Unfortunately, Paige woke up kinda early Sunday morning and was pretty cranky on Sunday. Sunday we all went up to Hayward to spend the day with Mike's dad. Unfortunately, I woke up late Saturday night/early Sunday morning with the runs from some bad food I ate at the party. The stomach cramps and runs got worse all day and peaked around 5pm and Paige was extremely clingy and whiney and poor Mike had to take care of her and I both at his dad's house. We went to this zoo for a couple of hours around lunch time and nap time, so Paige missed her nap and really started to fall apart late that afternoon. We ended up leaving around 5:30 pm, and had Paige in bed by 6:30 pm. She slept like crap, was up every hour, except when her and Mike slept in a recliner from 2am-5am. She slept for another hour after that maybe so this morning was a real treat.

We went back to Mike's mom's to fish and Paige actually had a pretty decent time. She caught a few fish all by herself and really seemed to enjoy it. Finally around 11:30am we were all at the end of our ropes so we left. The car ride home was the car ride from hell. Paige fell asleep about 10 minutes into the 4.5 hour ride so we thought we were doing well, but NOOOOO...., she wakes up about a half hour later, and ends up crying, screaming and whining the rest of the trip. It was just awful. She was so tired and just totally beside herself. We got home and snuggled for a few minutes, then she picked at her supper, threw a couple of tantrums and we got her to bed around 6:30pm. I wanted to get her down sooner, but my dad came up tonight and Paige was pretty excited about that so I couldn't put her down then.

She's been sleeping for about an hour and we've heard her cry out a few times already. I hope she sleeps well and sleeps late.

The weekend had some really good things and bad things. I've described the bad things already. The B&B that we stayed at was so nice and the owners were so sweet and friendly. It was nice to hang out with Mike's brother and SIL after the girls went to bed. We had the perfect set up. We were staying in the lower level of the B&B and there was a living with our two bedrooms off of it. So we'd put the girls down in each of our rooms, then hang out in the living room and watch movies. Paige and one of her little cousins instantly bonded and were best buddies the whole weekend. Her cousin is 5 months older than her and where she went, Paige went. It was so darn cute! And I know Mike's mom and dad really enjoyed having us around, even though they have no clue what it's like to have little kids around.

Phew!!!! Better head back upstairs and to bed. Good sleeping vibes for my little girl tonight!!!!!

Not Quite Unscathed

I hate the stomach bug!!!!

Mike called me on his way home last night and says he's not feeling good and thinks he has the same thing Paige and I had. Does it ever end? I think not. Luckily, he didn't seem to have it as bad as Paige and I. He laid on the couch most of the night, but managed to take out the garbage, make his lunch, and work on a fishing rod. I felt a little bad for him, but walking from our bedroom to the living room was exhausting for me, so I figured he'd be ok. He ended up going to work today even though he looked really tired. Stubborn mule.

I get home last night, and listen to a message from our realtor. Another agent in her company is going to drive by our house and if they like it, they'll want to see it the next day (today) around 5pm. I hate this house selling BS. Now with it being summer, we have to get the inside and outside of the house ready to show. So I'm thinking we'll have to spend all night getting the house clean and ready to show, and Mike calls to tell me he's sick. So I called our realtor back and said, even if they do want to look at it, tomorrow night is not going to work. Luckily she was ok with it and said she'll schedule them for next week. I'm so sick of all this crap. Monday she called and said she set up an appointment for a showing on Tuesday, called the client back to confirm, called me back about 10 minutes later and said the client cancelled already. UGH!!!! Shit or get off the pot, people.

At least we have Paige, she's such a blessing and full of life. We played outside for quite a bit last night. She'd rather dump water out of the pool and use the pool water to water flowers than actually play in the pool. It's pretty darn cute.

Sickness Update

Paige was sick Thursday night-Saturday night. Sunday morning around 3am I woke up with stomach cramps and spent the next 6 hours puking and pooping. I have never had stomach cramps that bad. I was breathing and moaning through them like I was in labor. Ugh, just awful. After that all ended, I spent the rest of the day either laying in bed or on my favorite recliner in the living room sleeping or watching TV. Poor Paige knew I was sick, and kept trying to come by and would say "mama sick" or "mama sad." Then if I seemed to be doing better she'd say "mama sick all done!" I had to tell her, no mama's still sick, but she disagreed. Poor girl, she's had a rough few days.

So I kept her home with me until about 9:30am yesterday watching this new Elmo DVD 3 times in a row! At least it was on the DVD player so I could watch TV. Finally she started asking for her little friends at Sandi's, so I dropped her off and spent the rest of the day lounging and watching WAY too much TV. I watched Animal Precinct, Dog the Bounty Hunter, and about 4 episodes of Baby Story. I got a burst of energy in the afternoon and vacuumed, swept my kitchen floor, washed and hung 2 loads of laundry outside. After I picked up Paige, she played in her pool while I watched her for about an hour. Finally I couldn't stand the heat so I brought her back in.

I had been craving mac and cheese all day so I made some for supper and inhaled it! It tasted so good!!!!! Paige had her peanut butter bread; now she's off of jelly. Silly girl.

I'm just amazed at the things she's putting together. We were downstairs looking at pictures on the computer and Mike was complaining that the TV remote wasn't working. I'm like, put batteries in it. So he did and lo and behold the remote started working. Eventually our Kodak software program on our crappy computer quit working so I told Paige we couldn't look at pictures anymore because the computer wasn't working. She started saying something over and over that I couldn't understand and I eventually figured out that it was "batteries in it, batteries in it". I was like, no we can't put batteries in it! Smart girl!!!!

Poor Baby Girl

What a sense of timing toddlers have. At 11:30pm I hear Paige crying and it doesn't sound like she's settling back down, so I go out in the living room ask Mike to get her up, I go pee, and I hear "hey honey? she puked." I'm like, great. So I stumble back to our room get my glasses and head into Paige's room to assess the damage. Mike is already stripping her bed and seeing what has been hit by the puke. Paige has it in her hair and all over her jammies. So I comfort her while attempting to get out the puke with a washcloth. Poor girl was so upset and shivering that I just didn't have the heart to stick her in the tub. She didn't want anything to do with Mike so I held her in the recliner until about 2am while sleeping on and off and then finally laid her down. She went down without a peep and slept until 9am this morning. WHO HOO!!!!

She has some sort of sickness, because she was rather lethargic and clingy today and only ate a half a bowl of oatmeal this morning. She took almost a 2 hour nap, then slept on my lap for another hour. She seemed to perk up after the second nap so I drove about 20 minutes to a rummage sale a co worker was having. We were there for about 10 minutes when Paige started throwing up all over herself in my co workers garage. It was horrible and so embarrasing. She threw up EVERYWHERE, including my hands when my co worker ran inside to get paper towels. The saving grace was that I got a pair of jeans shorts, an outfit, a bunch of puzzles and books for $2.50. She's just trying to get rid of the stuff; love those kind of rummage sales!!!

So we got home, I cleaned her up, we played for a bit because she seemed to perk up again, and put her down around 7:45pm. She went down without a peep and Mike went over to a friends house tonight. I told him that if Paige throws up again tonight, I'm calling him and he needs to be in the car on his way home before he even picks up his phone! I cannot comfort her and clean up puke alone.

I hope she feels better soon. It's like she wants to feel better because she'll want to play like her normal self and then the next minute she's crawling in my lap for some cuddling.

Nothing Exciting

Ok, I really have nothing to blog about, but I know I'll get yelled at by a certain pregnant ya ya who works in a school, has three daughters and a hot hubby.

Paige slept until almost 8am today so once again, I didn't get to work until 9:30am. I'm so lucky that my boss is so cool about that kind of stuff. Every once in a while, we get the lecture about being at work from 8a-4p, but public health work just doesn't really fit in those hours and she knows it, but she has to give us the speech just so she looks good to her boss. Anyway, I'll make up the time when I work this Saturday at the car seat check.

Nothing too exciting happened today. It was SO HOT!!! Paige played in her pool and watered a bunch of my flowers for me. It's supposed to be 95 this weekend. That's just way too hot.

Duke has been peeing on our sedums so some of the branches are dying off and I cut them tonight. Well I ended up butchering most of them and they are quite sparse now. Oh well, I know they'll grow back. While I was in the process of butchering them, my sister called me to tell me that one of our favorite Friends episodes was on. The one where Ross, Rachel and Chandler are trying to haul Ross's new couch upstairs and Ross keeps yelling "PE-VOT PE-VOT PE-VOT!!!!!" I can hear it in my head and am cracking up. Thank goodness Mike is working dilligently on a fishing rod and isn't watching me crack up to myself in front of the computer. He'd really think I was wacko then.

Mike and I will be married 5 years in October already. I can't believe it, it's gone so fast.

Raise Up Your Hands

OK I'm currently jamming out to Rascall Flatt's "Me and My Gang" in my office and it reminded me of a cute thing Paige did last night.

I was jamming out to this same song last night on the way home from picking her up and said "Dance with Mama Paigie!" And the line "raise up your hands" comes on and I look in the backseat and there's Paige with both of her hands up in the air!!! I just about died laughing!

My stupid palm pilot is still giving me a hard time. I tried to get some Word documents to sync onto it yesterday and now it won't even sync Adobe documents. It keeps telling me there's one unresolved file that won't sync and I've deleted every document! I don't know what it's trying to sync, but it's really getting on my nerves. I shut down my computer and logged back in about 5 times yesterday afternoon because that seems to be the computer fix it solution around here.

It might get up to 100 degrees this weekend so I might die from heat exhaustion. I'm supposed to work on Saturday at a car seat check in Green Bay and if we're outside, I'll leave. There's no way I'm cramming my 5'10" body in a 2 door vehicle and pushing and pulling on a car seat and it's straps to get a good install in 100 degree heat.

I did Pilates again last night. First I got sucked into an episode of Dog the Bounty Hunter at 8pm and another came on at 8:30 but I forced myself off my ass and did the Pilates. It's pretty fun. A good workout, but you feel refreshed afterwards, not ready to pass out.

Paige woke up at 5:30am this morning-what's up with that? Doesn't she realize her mom is not a morning person?!?!?!

Are We Ready?

I've been thinking alot about if/when #2 will come along. Mike and I had decided a few months ago that we were going to wait a long time. I keep thinking about the pros and cons of it lately and people keep asking when we're going to have another one. Well last night we got to talking and decided we're going to start ttc in the fall. It was weird!!!! I couldn't believe we were actually talking about having another baby! Then I laid awake for the longest time wondering if I was truly ready. All I could think about was how hard it would be. Like now, it's fairly easy to run errands with Paige; I plop her in the front of the shopping cart and sing or talk to her in the grocery store and she's a happy camper for a good 20 minutes or so. With a baby, what do I do? Put Paige in the front part and the baby carrier in the cart and only buy as much that will fit in the cart? What about unloading my car with the groceries and then putting them away? That's quite the adventure now, I can't imagine it with two. And getting two ready in the mornings and bring 2 to daycare? And paying for 2 in daycare? And when Paige goes to bed, I'm ready to crash from the long day, not take care of a baby! And how am I going to get up in the mornings with her if I've been up all night with a baby?!?!!???

Aaahhh so many questions, but I know I don't want to wait too much longer. I don't want a huge age gap between Paige and her sibling, and I don't want to get too out of the baby loop. I know Paige would be a great helper though. She's so sweet with the babies at her sitter's house. She loves to be helpful! And once the newborn part is over, I'd love to have another baby in the house!!!

So, anyway, we shall see.

Our other big news is that Paige ate peas tonight!!!!! Our neighbor has a ton of them in his garden so we picked them and Paige ate some raw ones! We were so proud of her! She kept asking "eat peas?" when we got in the house, but we had to cut her off so her body wouldn't go into shock at digesting a vegetable. So we said "eat peas tomorrow" and she seemed ok with that.

Just got done with 25 minutes on the treadmill and I think I'm going to bed soon. I slept like crap last night and am so tired. But we have so much to do. I need to balance the checkbook, fold and put away 3 loads of laundry, read yesterday's paper, and call a couple of friends. UGH. There's always something!!!!!

Mama What Are You Doing?

The sentence of the day. Actually it was more like this:
Paige: "Mama what are you doing?"
Me: "I'm (fill in the blank)"
Paige: "Mama what are you doing?"
Me: repeat
Paige: "Mama what are you doing?"
Me: "Paigie I just told you what I'm doing. What are you doing?"
Paige: "Mama what are you doing?"

AGH!!!!!

Today was all about sentences.
"What's that noise?"
"Where's Dad go?" (my personal favorite!)
"Mama what are you doing?"

We played in the pool for a while, went to the pharmacy and grocery store, and then back outside for more water fun.

I hate our pharmacy and would love to report them for a huge HIPPA violation. I was there to pick up my Lexapro and there was at least 5 other people around and the lady working looks at her computer and says "you want your lexapro refilled?" I'm like "uh yeah." And the chick standing next to me looks at me like I'm whacko or something. I was SO EMBARRASSED and PISSED OFF.

Mike is up north for a wedding for a friend from high school so it's just Paige and I. We're going to a friends house tomorrow. They have a little girl whose about 18 months and they have a nice swingset so it should be fun.

10 Things About My Day

OK, I'm on kind of a 10 things theme, but I came up with this brainstorm earlier tonight. Here's 10 things about my day:
1. I didn't get into work until 9:30am this morning, 1.5 hours late.
2. Paige slept until 8:10am, hence #1.
3. I got my palm pilot to sort of work today, thank goodness. I thought I fried the thing by leaving it in my hot car all weekend. Now it will only sync documents in Adobe, not Word, but at least it turns on!
4. Our 2pm car seat appointment was a no show so I wasted an hour picking up seats, loading them, waiting for her, and coming back to the office.
5. We are going to be switching insurance from Mike's to mine so I emailed our "administrative coordinator" back and forth a bunch of times today to get more info on it.
6. I started our charcoal grill and actually cooked on it a little bit! I started the potatoes and Mike finished them along with the marinated chicken breasts. YUM!
7. I let Paige play with the hose and get soaking wet so I could putz around outside.
8. I'll be doing a Pilates DVD as soon as I'm done blogging.
9. I changed one of the blinkies on my signature since I flipped Paige around in her car seat over the weekend.
10. Paige and I watched Sesame Street for a few minutes this morning while she ate a waffle. I would have let her sit there all day on my lap, but we had to get going.

OK, off to do some Pilates!

10 Things

Stolen from a few of my ya ya's blogs. List up to ten things you want to say to ten different people. Do not state who these people are. Do not confirm or deny any comment speculation.
1. You are my precious angel and I would die if anything happened to you.
2. I'm sorry I've been such a bitch lately. I love you so much.
3. I can't believe you're expecting another one! WOW!!!
4. I think you are a total hypocrite.
5. What crawled up your ass and died this past weekend?
6. I'm so glad we are friends; I had so much fun a few weekends ago!!!!
7. I'm sorry we've drifted apart, but I guess it happens. Our lives are so different.
8. Thank you for being such a good friend to me and my family during this horrible time.
9. You are a horrible and hateful person and fate will bite you in the ass someday.
10. You are a huge thorn in my side and I cringe when I hear you coming down the hall.

PHEW that felt good!!!!

Paige slept until about 8am this morning! Thank goodness. She seemed to be caught up on sleep when she woke up. Other big news: she pooped on the potty last night!!!!! It's slightly gross how it happened, but here goes. She wasn't wearing a diaper last night because she has this recurring diaper rash that refuses to go away. Mike suggested that we put a diaper on her and said no, not yet. Well doesn't she start to poop on the carpet about 5 minutes later. Oops. So Mike asks her if she wants to poop on the potty and she goes "OK" and takes off for the potty, sits on it, pushes a little and poop came out!!!! It was totally gross and disgusting and I made Mike clean it out. I still don't know what he did with it.

OK, off to see if I can get a hold of my friend who is expecting #2 in January! Her dd will turn 2 in August. Can you say, YIKES?!?!

Thank God I'm Home

What a crazy weekend. Saturday I drove 3.5 hours round trip for a bridal shower for an old college roomate, who is actually marrying a good friend of Mike's that stood up in our wedding. It was pretty fun, and nice to be with the girls!

Sunday I had every intention of going to church, but when the alarm when off at 7:15am and the house was quiet, I decided to not mess with it and fell back asleep until 10am!!!! That afternoon we went to a birthday party for a little girl who turned 2 a few days ago. We ended up staying until around 7pm and Paige even played in their sandbox!!!! She had a total panic attack when her sitter put her in theirs a few weeks ago. She loved it so much on Sunday, I'm tempted to go get one.

Yesterday I ended up taking Paige up to Eagle River (almost 3 hours away) to my sister's boyfriends cabin on a lake. My parents, sister and her boyfriend were there, and the weather was beautiful so I should have had fun, but I didn't. Paige didn't nap, and went to bed late. The sleeping arrangements were really goofy and when they got back from a friends house at midnight rather intoxicated, they woke Paige up. She was sleeping in the pack n play in the bedroom I was sharing with my mom. My sister tried to rock her back to sleep, but Paige wasn't interested. I finally kicked my dad out of the twin bunk bed in the other bedroom and brought Paige in bed with me there. That room was too small for a pack n play. Never again will she and I sleep in the same bed. It was a nightmare. She was awake for a good hour afterwards, so I was too. Then we woke up around 5am and were up for the rest of the day. She took a short nap in the morning, then we went to a parade, and came home. She did surprisingly well at the parade in spite of the loud noise and tons of people. We stopped at Subway on the way home and she ate a little bit. She did pretty well on the way home, just got ancey the last half hour or so. I almost fell over with relief when we walked in the door.

We really should not have gone. My sister was a total bitch to me, and my mom was a huge crank too. The ride there and back got really long and it was just a lot of packing and running around for the little amount of time we were there.

Poor Paige was so tired and hungry tonight that she inhaled her pizza and actually fell asleep while eating at 5:30! We let her finish eating because she was so hungry and screamed when we took the pizza away, then put her in bed by about 6:15pm. I had planned to give her a bath tonight, but I'll do it tomorrow.

Hopefully she gets a good night sleep and will get back on track the rest of the week. At least I only work tomorrow and Thursday.

Calgon Take Me Away

Can whoever stole my sweet child and replaced her with the devil please return her?

I am at the end of my rope. It has been an extremely trying week. She is a totally different kid this week. I mean she's always been a little pistol, but this isn't normal behavior, even for her. She's clingy, whiny, sassy, and insists on doing EVERYTHING around the house all by herself. Getting dressed and diaper changes have become a nightmare.

I know she missed me while I was gone and I think that explains the extra clinginess, but jeez, I've been back since Monday. I also know she's tired, so we've been putting her to bed extra early, but she lays awake and babbles until even later than her normal bedtime! UGH!!!! Today she was up at 6:30am and I was hoping she'd sleep until closer to 8am. It was a LONG morning.

Add that to the fact that I'm still adjusting to reality after my super relaxing weekend last weekend, when our biggest worries were to make it to the grounds for the 6:30pm show. I didn't have to cook, clean, do laundry, fight with Paige, drop her off, pick her up, get up early, put her to bed, etc. And I'm still really tired too. I'm thinking about napping while she naps today, but we'll see. There's so much to do around the house and we're busy this weekend. Tomorrow I have a bridal shower that's about 2 hours away, Sunday is a birthday party for one of Paige's little friends, and I might take Paige up to my sister's cabin Monday and Tuesday.

I've already washed and hung three loads of laundry outside this morning, attempted to keep Paige's tantrums and shrieks to a minimum, unloaded and re-loaded the dishwasher, cleaned the living room up from her mess this morning, sorted through a couple days worth of mail, cleaned the shower a bit, and filled her pool. I'm drained.

I still have laundry from last weekend to put away, take down, fold and put away the 3 loads of laundry hanging outside, do the sheets, towels, undies, etc., clean the house as it is completely disgusting right now, take out the garbage and attempt to balance the checkbook. Oh and wrap a couple of presents. AAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!!

Country USA Wrap Up

OK, I had intentions of blogging every day at my friends house to give a report of the previous day's concerts, but that didn't happen.

Anyway, Montgomery Gentry was my favorite show. My friend, Erica, got the best pictures of them. I can't wait to get them back! Neil McCoy was good too, and Toby Keith was just OK. He's just too arrogant for me.

Erica and I had the best time together. We went last year too, but this year we really bonded. We never got sick of each other, and just had so much fun. We went shopping, went out for lunch one day, she took me out to breakfast on my birthday and went over to her boyfriends' house a couple of times. We giggled CONSTANTLY! I think her boyfriend and his cousin that stopped over thought we were smoking something, but we were just high on coffee, I guess!

VIP seats were totally worth it, even though we had some real losers around us. There was this one old bag who was extremely heavy and kept yelling at the girls next to her to sit down because she couldn't stand and see the screen or the stage because they were standing. She made a miraculous recovery during the Toby Keith show when she stood the entire 90 minute show. Interesting. She also yelled at the girls behind her during a slow song because they were talking too loud and she couldn't hear the music over them. There's a handicap section right next to VIP and she had a cane, so why didn't she sit there? We also had a couple of women in their 60's right next to us who didn't seem to appreciate our constant giggling, yee-hawing, and who hooing during the shows. Like Erica said, you can't tell me they have Montgomery Gentry's "Hell Yeah" blasting in their cars. But they stayed for EVERY show, even though the headliners didn't start until 10:30 and didn't end until midnight.

So I turned 30 on Sunday and I think I'm OK with it. It came and went and I don't feel any different. What are you going to do?

Paige really missed me! She has been extra clingy on me and wanting my constant attention. She was so cute tonight. We were pulling weeds and the dead flowers in my petunia flower bed and she insisted on putting on my old pair of gardening gloves because she saw me wearing my new ones. So I'd pull the weeds, put them in a pile and she'd pick them up (wearing my gloves) and put them in the bucket. When the piles got too far from the bucket, she asked that I move it. Of course, she was covered in dirt, but she looked so darn cute. We were probably out there for at least a half hour. It's amazing what will entertain them.

Off to bed. I slept like shit last night because I was used to sleeping from 2am-10am the past few days. I looked pretty rough today at work!

Country USA Thursday Report

Got there around 5pm, found our seats and ate some supper. Carrots, mashed potatoes and beef tips. I think I'm going to like this VIP business! Got a mug and got it filled with beer for free. I think I'm REALLY going to like VIP!

Josh Turner was the first show we saw. He's had about 3 songs out on the radio, but he has a really good voice. It's low and deep. His show was OK. Then Gary Allen came on at 8:30pm. He put on a great show! He's more of a rocker kinda guy, really intense. I loved it. Then Rascall Flatts came on at 10:30pm. WHOA!!!! Probably one of my all time favorite shows. They really entertained the crowd and those boys can sing.

Like last year, the grounds are set up horribly. There's only one exit, so you feel like cattle being herded out along with 40,000 other people. They have about 20 people directing you into your parking spot, but at midnight when 20,000 cars are leaving, there's no traffic directors to be found. There's about 12 lines of traffic merging into one lane, and you have to leave the grounds in the lane you're in. We got so lost last night because there's no signs directing you back to the highway. We ended up way on the south side of Oshkosh when we're trying to go north. Extremely frustrating.

The weather was perfect, unlike last year when it was SUPER hot. It was upper 70's with a hazy sunshine. The only problem was that it got pretty cold last night. We had light cotton jackets, but we'll have to remember our fleece pullovers tonight.

Tonight is Blackhawk, Billy Dean, Charlie Daniels Band and Montgomery Gentry. I CANNOT WAIT for Montgomery Gentry. They are so good!

Our seats are pretty good, we're about 23 rows back from the stage. I didn't bring a camera, but my friend did so hopefully we'll get some good pix!

States I've Visited

Stolen from my Ya Yas:





create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

My Week

I finally have pix of my new do, but they are terrible pix of me, so I'll post them in chat with my ya yas.

Paige has found her independent streak. I'm proud of her, but it's getting old and frustrating already! She'll be in the kitchen with me, minding her own business and she'll see me shut a door and will SCREAM "Paigie shut the door!!!!!", so I have to open it back up, she runs over and shuts it herself. She has to open and shut all the doors, and cupboards, and is helping us set the table now. It kinda just started over the weekend, so we're still getting used to it. Mike was gone for the weekend, so when we got back on Sunday, he wasn't prepared for this and got an earful from her!

I found out that my OB/GYN resigned suddenly last week, so I have to find a new one which I'm really bummed about. I liked having a female doc right here in my tiny little town. Now I have to find a new one and I'll probably end up going to one in Green Bay. There's only 3 females in one of the health systems we can go to, so I'm sure I won't be able to get in with one of them for months. I'm due for my annual in August. I refuse to see a male OB/GYN.

Country USA starts on Thursday and I'm really looking forward to it. It's just me and a girl friend of mine, and I think we'll have a lot of fun. We have VIP, reserved seats which is so nice. The good shows don't start until 4:30 or 6:30 pm, so we can show up later in the day knowing we have good seats rather than getting there early with our lawn chairs in general admission and sweating our asses off in 90 heat all afternoon. I can't wait to see Rascall Flatts and Montgomery Gentry. They're HOT!

OK, better get back to work!

A Good Day

It was so hot today, but we really had fun. My parents got here about 9:30 or so, and we played outside for a bit, then took Paige to the park. Got home, ate lunch, put Paige down, then I chatted with my mom for a while. Her and Dad are really doing well. This whole thing has been a wake up call for him and he really appreciates my mom so much more now. Their marriage is probably stronger than it ever has been.

So then I ran a few errands in town, got home and filled up Paige's pool. We spent the rest of the afternoon outside in her pool and running around the yard. She had a ball with Grandma and Grandpa!

Then my dad grilled potatoes and cheddarwurst on the grill and they were delicious! Paige even ate a whole cheddarwurst! Cut up and dipped into parmesan cheese, of course. She discovered parmesan cheese the other night when we were having spaghetti and has been hooked ever since. I have to put some in a little bowl and she dips EVERYTHING in there! Even my caramel corn rice cakes and banana bread. Yuk. But as long as she's eating other foods besides a PB&J, I'm not complaining. She even ate a bunch of grapes before bed. Do they go through a growth spurt at 2? If so, I think Paige is having one. She's eating constantly and seems to be sleeping a little more than normal.

This is like family weekend for me. My sister is coming up tomorrow and spending tomorrow night. Mike is gone for the weekend, so it's nice to have company here to fill up the time. Paige and I kind of get sick of each other when it's just the two of us.

No pix of the new do yet. I didn't shower today and was looking pretty rough so I sure didn't want anyone taking pictures of me.

It's supposed to be really hot again tomorrow so I'm sure we'll be out in the pool quite a bit again. I'm tempted to just put on my swimsuit and get in there with her! Don't want to scare the neighbors though.

She Sleeps Cont.

I finally had to wake Sleeping Beauty up at 8:30am this morning. Luckily she was in a good mood (but who isn't after sleeping for 12.5 HOURS!!!!), so I was able to get her ready in record time without it seeming like I was rushing her. I even got her little afro up in a ponytail!

Speaking of hair, in celebration of my upcoming 30th birthday, I decided to get a new haircut today. I was going in for my regular trim, and there's a picture in one of my stylist's books that I always look at but am too chicken to have it cut that way because it has bangs and I haven't had bangs since junior high I think. But today I decided to go for it. I'm still not sure if that was the right decision. My stylist really likes it (of course, she cut it) and she did do a good job with it, but it's SHORT. And as I was playing with it tonight it hit me: I have the same haircut as my mom. AGH!!!! I really am turning into my mom!!!!!!

I saw my therapist today and she helped give me a new perspective on turning 30. I'm trying to keep her words in mind. At least I'll be at Country USA on my 30th, having a good time.

OK, not really sure why this just popped into my head right now, but it's been on my mind since Monday night when I got sucked into an episode of CSI:Miami. Is it weird that I think David Caruso is hot? There's just something about his character, Horatio, on CSI that turns me on. Just had to get that out there.

She Sleeps...

UGH! I love Paige dearly, but she has the worst sense of timing. It's 8:10am here and SHE'S STILL SLEEPING!!!! Last week Friday, my day off and day to sleep in, she was awake at 5:45am What's up with that?

I've already called work twice, first to tell them I'll be in at 8:30 and then just a few minutes ago to say I'll be in at 9:00 am. Hopefully, I'll be there by 9am. Luckily, my boss is super cool about this kind of stuff, and I worked my ass off the past month or so for the 5K. Work is actually kind of slow lately and I've been really bored this week. Today I'll only end up being there for a little over 3 hours because I'm leaving at 12:15pm for a therapist appointment in Green Bay, a little shopping, and a haircut.

I heard her stirring a bit as I started to blog, but now I hear her on the monitor snoring away loud and clear. Little stinker.....

Books I'm Reading

After working at a car seat check in Green Bay on Saturday morning, I stopped at Barnes and Noble to pick up a few books. One of my message boards is for Catholic families and we're starting an on-line book study of "Catholicism for Dummies." I'm born and raised Catholic and it's scary how little I know about my faith. So I signed up for the book study and picked up the book. We're reading a chapter a week, and I read my chapter yesterday. It was GREAT! I learned more in those 10 pages than I ever knew growing up. I also picked up The Happiest Toddler on the Block as I feel like Paige and her sassy mouth are taking over our household and I'm not sure what to do about it. One of my girlfriend's at work brought me a book she read called "Raising Your Spirited Child" so I'm going to check that one out too. I bought a few books at rummage sales over the weekend too. I LOVE to read, and don't have nearly enough time to do it.

Our weekend was really nice. Friday was a beautiful day and we had a couple of high school girls (Abby and Carrie) come over in the morning that are going to baby sit Paige. Paige was of course her shy self but seemed to warm up to them towards the end. She even gave them a hug and kiss goodbye! Carrie came back over that night to baby sit so Mike and I could go see a band we really like. Paige was already in bed when she came over so it was easy money for her. She baby sits for a family that has 4 kids that are 4, 3, 2, and 1 so I think she'll be able to handle Paige! On Saturday I worked at the car seat check and stopped at Barnes and Noble. Also got myself a Starbucks latte. If we lived in Green Bay, I'd be at that store everyday! I LOVE Starbucks! I could get a coffee and read books in peace...aahh heavenly! Then we went back down to Green Bay that night to get some flowers and go to eat with some friends. Sunday I planted petunias along side of my house, and then daisies in a flower bed by my garden. Also did a bunch of laundry, played outside with Paige, and took her to the park. After supper, we were outside bumming around, and a woman was walking her little guy in a stroller and she came up to us and asked how our house selling was going because they have their house for sale too. I said it was going nowhere and we chit chatted for a while. Her son is two and I told her I have off on Fridays if they ever wanted to come over. It would be nice to have a friend in the neighborhood, they only live about 3 or 4 houses down from us.

Paige slept until after 7am this morning which was wonderful! She's been waking up before 6am and demanding to be out ASAP which makes getting ready for work quite the adventure. It was kind of nice getting ready without saying "yes that's mama's makeup, yes mama's drying her hair, no don't touch that, Paige put that down, just a minute, yes we'll brush your teeth, hold on I'll make another waffle, etc. etc. etc."

Better get some work done today. My voicemail light is blinking and my desk is a mess. Gotta love those Monday mornings!

I'm Tired!

I have worked so hard these past two days for this 5K walk/run that I helped plan. It was this morning. Yesterday about 9 of us set up for it all day, putting packets together, putting route and parking signs, kid's run signs, gathering all the supplies that the volunteers would need, etc. I was the volunteer coordinator, so I had to kind of know everything that was going on; where do the parking and the route director people go? where do the timers and the water stop people go? where should I put this or that when I'm done with it?, etc. Thank god it's over! We had a fairly decent turnout, about 100 people. I'm hoping for a lot more next year, it's so much work to plan one of those things. We have a 5K, 1/2 mile kids run, a couple of different raffles, food and water for the runners, kids activities like balloon making, t-shirt decorating, bean bag toss, and a cookout.

On another subject, people keep asking when #2 is coming along and we say a long time yet, but I'm seriously starting to wonder if we'll ever want another one. Me staying at home is not an option financially or for my mental health, and I can't imagine getting 2 ready for daycare and paying for 2 in daycare. Plus the extra work of another one. On the other hand, I get sad thinking that I'll never ttc again, find out i'm pregnant again, be pregnant again, or have another baby. I just don't know if we'll ever be ready to have 2. Paige is more than we can handle some days, and I don't know if I want a big age gap between our kids. I don't know how some women do it that have kids 1 or 2 years apart. I'd really like to have a boy for Mike, and I myself would like to raise a boy, I just don't know if we can handle 2 little ones.

Paige is in bed right now and my to do list is about a million miles long, but I'm going to sit on my ass and watch tv or read for a little bit and then go to bed. Luckily my wonderful husband is going to let me sleep in tomorrow. Paige has a cold and has been waking up at the god awful hour of 5:30 these past few mornings. But she has gotten used to our little routine of Mike getting her up on the weekends while I sleep. They eat pancakes together and then I wake up later and he cooks some for me. I'm a lucky girl!

Progress? *Knock on Wood*

I think we are getting somewhere with meals with my little diva! She has been sitting on our laps for supper for the past few weeks, and we let her because she was eating fairly well. Tonight Mike had enough and said you need to sit in your big girl chair (her booster chair) and she of course started screeching. He said, "we'll give you a sticker if you sit in the chair" and she just said "OK", quit fussing and sat there for a good 20 minutes! I WAS SHOCKED!!!!!! And she actually ate our food! We had hamburger in gravy, mashed potatoes and green beans. She played with the beans and avoided the potatoes (weird, I know), but inhaled the hamburger! I couldn't believe it! She kept asking "sticker?" and we said, after you eat. She said she was full, I gave her an Elmo sticker and we put it on the calendar. My big girl! I'm so proud of her and of Mike for thinking of it.

I think we're getting somewhere with the discipline too. She's been getting better about walking into and out of the house, but if she fusses, I tell her to start walking before I count to 3 or she won't be able to climb into her carseat, which is a big deal for her. It seems to be working, I've been trying to use it at home too when she's dawdling and not listening.

Her newest thing today was to ask "mama what are you doing? dada what are you doing?" It was so hilarious! And when we ask her "what's going to work?" she replies "teamwork!" Straight outta Wonder Pets! I love my little girl!

Hot Hot Hot!!!!!

OK, this weather totally sucks. I'm becoming more and more like my mom every day! She hates the hot weather too! It's about 90 degrees and HUMID.

Yesterday I decided that we could not stay cooped up in the house for the rest of the day and today so we ran to the Family Dollar and got a pool for Paige. It was a huge pain in the ass to fill up because the hose water was super cold, but my ever thinking hubby decided to open the window to the basement, run the hose down there and fill up the pool with water from the hot water heater. Not a bad idea actually-better than me filling a bucket of hot water from the sink and bringing it outside 100 times. She really seemed to like splashing around in it-we were out for at least an hour yesterday and close to another hour this morning. I'm sure she'll want to go out again after her nap. She is so cute in her swimsuit and wet curly hair! I have a feeling we're going to go broke buying sunscreen and swim diapers this summer! I love the smell of sunscreen, weird? Maybe.

I'm suddenly obsessed with blinkies. It's so weird. It's like I finally discovered them, so I keep searching for cool ones to upload into photobucket. I FINALLY found a Friends one last night. I'm still trying to find a cool working mom one. I found a hilarious one last night: "It's formula, not rat poison!" I wish I would've had that one when she was a baby. I pumped my milk, but she also got formula very early on too. There's a bunch of (IMO) self righteous sahm and bf'ing ones, why isn't there a "proud to be a working mom" one.

Our dry spell is FINALLY over at home! It had probably been at least 2 months, but that was because we didn't like each other very much. Things have been MUCH better at home since we've talked. We both seem to be making an effort to communicate better. And 2 nights in a row! WHO HOO!!!!

Other than that, we had a pretty low key weekend. Just lots of laundry, cleaning, playing in the pool, etc. I just cannot handle this hot weather. I was out for about 10 minutes hanging up laundry and it was too much for me. Luckily, it's supposed to cool down this week back into the 70's. That I can handle.

Ramblings of a Mom to a Toddler

I don't think anyone prepares you for how difficult it is to raise a toddler, especially a two year old. Maybe not difficult, but what a rollercoaster it is.

Paige has gotten VERRRRYYY sassy within the past couple of weeks. She's been telling me "stop it mama" "no mama" and the real kicker "shut up mama" She's also been pushing me and swatting me. I know she got the shut up from us telling Duke to shut up, so we've been working on "be quiet" She's been whining and repeating things OVER and OVER! Like today "dada home soon?" and I say "dada will be home tonight around suppertime" and then ever since it's "dada home soon? dada home night" over and over! It gets a little old. But at the same time, she is so sweet, and just wants to make me happy. And she's talking more and more! I walked into her room this morning, yawning and she says "mama tired" and I said, yes mama's tired. I was like, how did you know I was tired? and how do you know what tired means? Crazy!

Lately, she's been SO into books, she carries them everywhere and she has to have at least 10 of them in her crib whenever she sleeps. After I read her a book, she takes it, opens it up and says the words on that certain page. It's unreal! She has SUCH a good memory. The other night, she wouldn't listen to me, so I told her no books before bed. She grabbed Guess How Much I Love You and wanted me to read it and I said, no you didn't listen to mama earlier. She raised a huge fuss, but took it to bed with her. The next morning I walked into her room, she grabs the book and says "mama read it?" I said yes, I'll read it!

I need to start disciplining her more, and my therapist said that we could try time outs with her. She seems young for it, but my sitter agreed. I'm such a softie, it's going to break my heart the first few times I have to do it. This week, we've been working on getting her to walk in and out of our house and our sitter's house, and not be carried. She pitches a HUGE fit, but each day has gotten a little easier. I think we might start a sticker chart for walking without a fuss.

Meals have been interesting. She refuses to sit anywhere except my lap during meals, especially supper. But she'll actually eat something then, like the past few nights she's eaten pork chops and rice. She dawdles so bad, so I've started to tell her, you need to start eating in one more minute, or we're all done. It seems to be working pretty well. She's still refusing veggies though.

This week, she's done so many new things! She counts her jumps, it's so hilarious! She's had a diaper rash for a while so it hurts whenever we wipe her, and I've always said "I know, I know" so this week whenever I start to take her diaper off, she goes "I know I know I know I know I know!" And asking for Mike by saying "dada home soon?" that one breaks my heart, especially when I know he's not going to be home for a while.

In spite of all this, I love her more than I ever thought possible. I would die if anything happened to her. She brings so much joy, but sometimes so much pain too. She loves to give hugs and kisses, laugh, dance, and jump!

We're staying home this Memorial Day weekend, and are going to try to get a lot of yardwork done. It might hit 90 which is WAY too hot for me. It's 80 degrees right now and I can hardly stand it. I've been outside for all of 20 minutes today to hang clothes up and I come in the house sweating. It's too hot, too fast. 2 weekends ago, it was 45 and rainy and now it's 80 and sunny.

The Party Is Over

Thank God for that! It actually went very well, but I think it was a little too much for Paige.

Luckily the IL's all got along really well and Mike's dad and stepmom left around 5:30 pm. It was really cold and rainy out so everyone was cooped up inside our teeny tiny house, and it was really overwhelming for Paige. When she woke up from her nap, almost everyone was here, so she walked out to a roomful of people and most of them were almost like strangers (Mike's mom, dad, stepmom, stepdad and a couple of friends of ours). My parents, sister, her boyfriend and grandma got here before her nap and she's really comfortable with all of them. But waking up from a nap and coming out to all of these people was just too much for her. But she gradually warmed up, especially when we started opening presents! Mike's mom gave her this bubble blower thing in the shape of a puppy and she LOVES it. She used up all of the bubbles that came with it and kept walking around saying "puppy bubbles? puppy bubbles?" when she didn't have it!

The party had some stressful moments, but overall went pretty well. Paige was pretty cranky and irritable most of the time, but as long as I or my mom kept her entertained, she was OK. She didn't play too much with her new kitchen as the puppy bubble thing was the big hit of the day!

She looked absolutely ADORABLE in her Dora dress and I tried to get some pictures, but she is not good for getting pictures taken. Hopefully between us, Mike's mom and my mom, she'll be OK.

Some friends of ours who live in Green Bay with a little girl 6 weeks younger than Paige were here and I don't think we had told them that the teacher in the news is my dad. When he walked in, the wife got a weird and suprised look on her face and I noticed her looking at him every once in a while.

It took a while to get everything cleaned up and put away, but it's all done. The floors are dirty so we'll have to take care of them tomorrow. But my two year old girl is sleeping and I think her mama will be soon!

Happy Birthday Paige!

My baby is two today, I can't believe it!

I still remember my pregnancy and delivery so clearly. Laughing and crying at the same time when my pregnancy came back positive, Mike not being able to understand me on the phone because I sounded like a crazy woman, puking several times a day for 15 weeks, being drop dead tired all the time, hearing her heartbeat for the first time, feeling her kick, finding out she's a girl, getting bigger and bigger by the second, attempting to take Duke for a walk while waddling my fat pregnant ass down the road, feeling that first contraction, laboring at home from 9a-5p alone until Mike got home, having a contraction so intense it brought me to all fours, throwing up all over myself and Mike, begging for an hour for the anesthesologist, feeling the infamous "ring of fire", and finally holding my sweet girl on my chest.

And now today, she's an energetic two year old: talking, laughing, dancing, jumping, and throwing lots of tantrums!!! I got an email today from Baby Center congratulating me on my "preschooler" with tips on potty training. Preschooler? Potty training? Where's my sweet baby who loved to hang out in her bouncy seat and would only nap in mama's arms for the first three months? Where's my breast pump that was attached to my body for 8 months? Where's my baby who would eat almost any kind of baby food I gave her? Now it's nothing but PB&J's, pancakes, waffles, pizza and oatmeal!

Potty training? Not even close. I'll hang on to my baby and keep changing diapers with a smile as I know these days will soon be a memory.

Gotta Love Wisconsin

It's about 40 degrees, pouring rain, with 35 mph winds, gusting to 50 mph. Someone from work just called in and said a tree blew over on Main Street and the entire street is closed. AGH!

Paige's party is on Saturday and it's supposed to be 51 with a chance for showers. Great. Guess we'll have to keep 16 people cooped up in our 1000 square foot house. Should be interesting, especially since it's the first time Mike's mom, stepdad, dad and stepdad are all going to be together. I'm putting that dress on her though, I don't care, it's just too darn cute!!!!

OK, what is wrong with people?!?! Chris got kicked off AI!!! WTF?!?!?! He was so awesome signing "Suspicious Minds"! Not sure who will win now, they all seem to have a equal chance at it.

I was a crazy woman yesterday. I had my teen cessation group in the morning, then a car seat appointment. Then I headed off to Green Bay for a therapist appointment at 1pm. First I stopped at Once Upon A Child to drop off a huge box of stuff, then to Factory Card Outlet where it was shoulder to shoulder people in the Mother's Day card section. But for 50 cents a card, I can't complain. Then to my therapist and theeeeennnnn to Steins' for a gift card for my mom for Mother's Day, Joann Fabrics to return material, Kohl's, Old Navy and Lane Bryant for returns, Shopko to pick up household stuff, Walgreens to pick up Starbucks coffee on sale for Mike's mom and stepmom, Target for a return, TRU for a return, Walmart for a return, Once Upon a Child to pick up my money and then home by 4:40pm. CRAZY!!!!!! But it felt good to get rid of so much stuff and to get money back on my credit card!

I've lost 5 more pounds! I know I just weighed myself a few days ago, but I'm so psyched.

Mike and I seem to be doing pretty good. I've been trying not to take what he says the wrong way and we're spending more time together at night. I actually like him now! =)

I sneezed this morning and Paige told me "Bless you Mama." I almost died-she is too cute!!!! Her birthday is tomorrow, I can't believe two years ago at this very moment I was in labor with her.

Gotta head out in this crappy weather for a meeting. Hopefully I won't blow away!

My Weekend

I actually had a pretty enjoyable weekend. On Friday, Paige and I met a girlfriend from college and her daughter who is 3 months younger at a play area at a mall near my parent's house. Paige actually got off my lap after only a few minutes and seemed to have a really good time. Then we went to my parent's house for the rest of the day. Got home and put her to bed that night.

On Saturday, I met another girlfriend and her 16 month old daughter for some serious rummage sales! I bought way too much and at the last one, I actually paid with change for this Dora necklace I was convinced Paige had to have. I left Paige with Mike; my friend's daughter held up really well, much better than Paige ever would have!

Mike went fishing on Sunday for most of the day so Paige and I hung out at home. We played outside for a while, and I washed and hung up about 5 loads of laundry.

I actually enjoyed Mike being gone and was kind of disapointed when he got home. I thought "this isn't good," and decided to have a talk that night. We haven't been getting along too well lately, lots of snapping at each other and basically not enjoying each other's company. Between his grandpa dying and the crap going on with my dad, we have just retreated to our own little corners and haven't been there for each other. We had a long talk that night and got lots of stuff worked out. We are going to spend more time together at night after Paige goes to bed, just talking. We also need to go out on more dates, just the two of us. I've never left Paige with a sitter besides family and I'm stressed out about it. My boss's daughter babysits and she lives just down the road, so I'm going to call her and have her come over a few times before we leave her with Paige. One of our favorite bands is playing near here on June 9th, so I think that might be the big night! We actually met at one of their concerts so it's got a sentimental feeling for us!

I lost 2 pounds!!! WHO HOO!!!! My pants are feeling just a little looser which is awesome. The only bad thing is I spent about $80 on 2 pairs of pants right before I started Weight Watchers and now they are too big. I'm going to try selling them on ebay, one pair is Gap Long and Lean Jeans and the other are dress pants from Lane Bryant. I tried on a pair of capri's from last summer and they are still a little tight, but they'll fit soon. I'm so proud of myself! I've been mixing half of regular yogurt and half of a light yogurt together, doing the same thing with my coffee creamer (a little regular, mostly fat free) and have really cut down on my desserts, and also eating veggies almost every night with dinner. I'll make a huge portion of veggies and fill up on those first.

Paige's party is this weekend! I can't wait to see her in her Dora dress and also can't wait to give her the kitchen!!!!! I'm pretty sure she'll like it. My baby is going to be 2!!!

Where Do I Start?

I'm so behind, I know. The past few weeks were so crazy I feel like I'm just now starting to catch my breath.

Bad news on the preliminary hearing, it's going to a jury trial, probably sometime this fall. I have so many emotions around this issue, I don't even know where to start. Not the time to get into that I guess.

What happened to my sweet daughter? She has always been a little firecracker, but the past few days it's been non-stop whining and tantrums! I can't do anything right. I have so little patience with the whining, I just snap so easily with it. I'm trying to accept that we are heading into the terrible two's and that life might just be like this for a while.

We had a big car seat check event on Saturday. In three hours, 6 of us checked 43 seats. That's really cookin'! We sold 25 seats. We have appointment times from 2-5pm this afternoon and they are completely filled up. I'm glad people around here are FINALLY realizing the importance of keeping your child buckled up right.

On that note, my independant diva decided she MUST climb into her car seat now; I can't put her in it. It takes FOREVER! We've also hit the dawdling stage. Everything she sees and hears outside is so fascinating, we must stand there and have a running commentary about it.

My dad is watching Paige today since her sitter closed early. He came up last night and I put him to work right away! He trimmed my shrubs in the front. They were pretty out of control. He said afterwards, "you know how after you get your haircut, it's a little too short, but it grows back right away?" and I said "yeah?", he goes "just remember that when you look at your shrubs!" They're a little short, but at least they are cleaned up.

Her party is next week Saturday and I think I have everything under control. I even ordered her a Dora dress from ebay! I hope it's a halfway decent day so she can wear it. I'm a little worried about the day of the party, just having all of the food ready and the house clean. Also my parents, grandma, and Mike's dad, mom, stepmom and stepdad are going to be there so I hope first of all that his dad and mom get along ok, and that our friends don't get too obnoxious in front of my family. Maybe we should wait to put out the beer until after they leave!!

If It's Not One Thing...

It's another. Mike's grandpa died Easter Sunday morning so we went up there Monday and got back yesterday. It's a 4.5 hour drive and it went surprisingly well, especially since Paige never napped. We stayed at his mom's house.

Tuesday morning, Paige woke up covered in puke. She continued to puke all day long at Mike's mom's house. Mike had to go to his grandpa's wake by himself which I felt horrible about. His mom wasn't too supportive either. She told Mike that her couch smelled like puke, and when he apologized and offered to clean it she said, no that's ok, I'll do it. Why mention it then? All I could do was hold Paige and catch her puke as best as I could, she wouldn't go to anyone else, even Mike and his mom never offered to help in any way. When I told her that Paige threw up water in the bathroom and that I laid a towel over it, she copped a huge attitude again. Mike had planned to spend the morning with his dad and then go to his grandpa's wake that night. But I needed him to stay with me after Paige puked for the millionth time that morning and it happened to land all over me and my clean clothes right after a shower. I kind of had a meltdown. When Mike told his mom, she said "well I never had two people to take care of you guys when you were throwing up.." Well excuse me supermom. GRRRRRR!!!!

Wednesday was the funeral and it was very emotional. His grandpa was a WWII vet and they did military honors afterwards, that part was very touching. Paige had a fever all day and I had to hold her all day. Again she wouldn't even go to Mike. We got home yesterday around 5pm, and we thought her fever might be breaking because her temp went down a degree and she was starting to perk up a little. Then the diarhea started and it hasn't stopped. Her butt is on fire and we're going through Desitin like it's going out of style. She has the classic rotavirus symptoms so I'll be home with her tomorrow too I'm sure. I don't mind though.

My dad's bond hearing starts in about 10 minutes. We heard yesterday that the DA is going to recommend a signature bond so that is good news. The decision ultimately is up to the judge, but the DA recommending a signature bond is a good start.

Then today my dryer starts making funky noises so I can't use it. It's old though so it wouldn't surprise me if we have to buy a new one this weekend. I just don't know what to do with the clothes sitting in it because my clothesline is full and it's socks and undies, not necessarily stuff I want to hang up.

I'm trying to say the rosary every day. I should probably go and say one before Paige wakes up.

I'm Lost

Avoiding work again. I'm swamped, but I don't know where to start and again am shutting down.

I want to curl up in a ball in bed and hide away from everything: work, Mike, Paige, and my family. This is like a living nightmare. Paige is my one bright spot, but she can cause me a lot of pain as well. She was super tired last night and CRANKY. We couldn't do anything right.

People at work are kind of avoiding me and leaving me alone which I really appreciate right now.

My mom tells me we have to hold on to our faith. Well, OK, so we pray, hundreds of people around us are praying, and what if the worst happens and he's found guilty? What good did our faith do? I guess I just don't have faith in my faith right now; I have nothing to hold on to.

Weight Watchers is HARD! I'm only supposed to eat 28 points every day and the past 2 days, I've eaten about 55. Yikes. No wonder I can't lose weight. I'm starting to make gradual changes, like drinking more water, measuring foods, and being very aware of what I'm putting in my mouth. It's going to take a while, but this weight will come off. I guess that's what I have to hold on to.

My only friend from Hortonville emailed me and told me that she's putting a stop to the gossip she's hearing and is setting the record straight, which I appreciate more than words can say. But at the same time, it makes me wonder just how much gossip is happening? Aaah, the joys of a small town. She has been a total sweetheart though, offered to come to his court hearing next week and drop off a meal or two at my parent's house. I have a feeling they are going to avoid going out in public for a while. It's amazing how much power one person has over another person's life.

Avoiding Work

I'm super busy at work and am sort of in shut-down mode. I don't know where to start so I'm wasting time on the computer. That's productive, huh?

I hit a bunch of rummage sales over the weekend and got Paige tons of summer and fall clothes. Plus Little Tikes basketball hoop, car and slide for $20 for all three pieces! I LOVE rummage sales. I also got a bunch of boy clothes for one of my favorite ya yas who is a foster mom.

I'm kinda blue today. I'm a very routine, structured kind of person, like my mom, and Paige got it from me. The past 4 or 5 days have been really weird. My dad came up Wednesday night and watched Paige Thursday, Mike went fishing Thursday night and had Friday off so he stayed home with her while I hit the rummage sales. I was all over the place, southwest of Green Bay and then way over the east side of Green Bay and even east out of Green Bay. I was a crazy woman! Then I came back home, Mike ran down to Green Bay to pick up the Little Tikes stuff I bought since it wouldn't fit in the Taurus and then down to my parent's to drop it off. I went home and finished cleaning and packing for the weekend while Paige napped. Paige got up and we left to go to my parent's house for the weekend. Mike went fishing for the weekend about 10 miles away from my parent's. I spent the weekend there, and then my dad came back up Sunday night and watched Paige yesterday. I finally dropped her off at the sitter's today-she hadn't been there since last week Thursday and I was worried about her falling back into her daily routine. So I get there and my sitter Sandi, is sick and her very pregnant friend is watching the kids today. She was sitting on the couch watching Golden Girls while the 3 or 4 kids played with Little People stuff. Great. Paige sometimes has a hard time when I drop her off and I had a bad feeling about today. She clung to me for a few minutes, but then she went into the kitchen to eat and was fine.

So I get to work and I'm tired and have a bunch of shit to do and don't want to do it. All I can think about is Paige and my family. I need to work something out with my parents if they want to come up and watch Paige, but we all need some sort of structure in our lives. Maybe they can come up and watch her every Wednesday or something.

I've decided to join Weight Watchers online. I'm at my heaviest and I HATE MY BODY. I've finally realized I can't control my eating on my own. I'm not a meetings kind of gal and a girl at work has lost 15 pounds with WW online. I went shopping last night and I can't even fit into 18's anymore, I'm wearing 20s. I hate shopping in the fat lady section.

I miss my ya yas, I haven't chatted with them in a few days. I bought the Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood at a rummage sale, but it's kind of weird so far. OK, back to work for a bit.

Striking a Balance

On Friday night after I was home with Paige 2 days in a row and kind of looking forward to a little bit of a break, Mike informs that he wants to go fishing sometime this weekend, preferably Saturday morning. My immediate reaction was to say NO WAY, but I took a deep breath and thought about it. I guess it's really good walleye fishing right now, but isn't there always a good time to catch some sort of fish? He suggested going overnight and I said no because then you'll be tired and totally useless the next day. So he suggested that he could get up around 4am Saturday morning and go then and get home during Paige's nap. I said fine, but you're taking care of her in the afternoon, so don't pull the excuse that you're tired. And he actually did pretty well with it. I had to nag him a few times, but it wasn't bad.

FISHING FISHING FISHING!!!! I'm so sick of it! I knew I married a fisherman and it wasn't so bad before Paige came along, because I actually like my alone time. But he still wants to go a lot, and I don't know what to do about it. He knows he can't go as much as he did pre-baby, but he doesn't want to give it up. So we need to strike a balance: he wants to fish because he LOVES it, but how often? I feel like he has the rest of his life to fish and Paige is only going to be this age once. And Paige has always preferred me over Mike and there have been a few times when I've wanted to mention that maybe she'd like you a little more if you weren't always FISHING, but I bite my tongue.

Sunday he let me sleep in again and then we went to the mall with Paige. We'd never done that so it was kind of an adventure. She was pretty good as long as we kept moving. She LOVED the play area and the slide! I must get her some sort of outdoor play set; she loves to slide!

We need to strike a balance with Paige. How much do we let her get away with? She fell in love with this $8.50 teddy bear at Old Navy and I was going to buy it and let her keep it even though she has about 50 stuffed animals. Mike said no, which is fine, it would have been a waste of money. So then we go to this Mexican place for supper and Paige won't touch the cheese quesadilla we got her, so she ate tortilla chips and a cookie for supper. Healthy? Not so much. When she screams that she wants me to do something and not Mike, do I swoop in there and rescue her or let him deal with it? When she screams in her highchair because she doesn't like what we've given her, do we let her scream or give her what she wants? Do we let her live on PB&J's right now? Do we go downstairs in the basement and play down there EVERY time she wants or just when we want? I guess these are questions that lots of moms struggle with, and I'll just have to do my best.