Irresponsible Moms

Let me start by saying I'm really going to bitch and be judgemental here, so you may be offended. But this has been driving me nuts since last night and I have to vent.

I work with 2 other child passenger safety techs and we take appointments 2 or 3 Tuesdays a month and rotate between Gillett and Oconto. Our Oconto site always fills up the fastest and last night was no exception. We have appointments every 45 minutes starting at 2pm and the last one is at 5:45pm. We were completely booked up yesterday and EVERY SINGLE APPOINTMENT was a WIC family whose baby had outgrown the infant seat and needed a convertible seat. Right now we have a DOT grant that allows us to give away the seats for free, yes free, to families that are within the WIC income guidelines. So let me break down my afternoon/evening for you:

2pm: got there a little late and see a total piece of shit car in the garage, turns out to be a 1993 S-10 Blazer full of CRAP. Unmarried parents with some loser friend who is knocked up. As I walk in the loser friend is showing my coworker a picture of her baby daddy on her totally pimped out cell phone who is Indian. Swell. The friend was really getting on my nerves, but the mom and dad were pretty nice and actually paid attention to what we had to say. All I could think though was how nice to not have any responsibilities and just do whatever you want all day.

2:45pm: Nice mom, actually married and has the same last name as her kid. What a novelty. The only strike against her was that she's married to a Gard and has a John Gard sticker in her window. But other than that she was a super nice mom and the kid was very well behaved. Nice change for once.

3:30pm: Ohh this was a doozy. Really young mom who just moved here from Arkansas with her 6 month old baby boy. She left her car running when she first got there. Um, what? This isn't a drive thru. We had to tell her to turn off her car. For whatever reason her 5 and 3 year old boys were still in Arkansas with their dad. This chick had her baby in the infant seat with the base and had the seat belt threaded through the carrier part. WTF? And it looked like she just threaded it through and buckled it and didn't even attempt to tighten it. That baby wouldn't have had a chance if she got in a crash. And of course the straps are super loose and the chest clip is way too low. She must have had at least 20 pairs of shoes on the floor of her backseat. Seriously people, you're coming in for a car seat appointment, what do you think we are going to do? Just look in the window, give you a free seat and send you on your way? CLEAN OUT YOUR CAR!!!!! We're climbing in to make sure your kid is safe, the least you can do is take 10 minutes to clean out the piles of crap in it. Then she talks about how some of her shoes cost $200-$300. You're on WIC, how can you afford $300 shoes? My favorite part was when she propped up the bottle of juice for her 6 month old to drink so she chould text her friend. Awesome.

4:15pm: Clean car, attentive mom, so it was pretty easy. But she really butchered the spelling of her kids' name so I felt really bad for her.

5pm: Mom with a bratty 4 year old boy who still takes a nuk (and you could totally tell with how bad his speech was) and a 6 or 7 month old baby boy in a super old truck that had to have been from the 1980's with no backseat. 4 year old's booster is covered in some sort of animal hair. Pretty nice mom but the 4 year old was wearing on my nerves.

5:45pm: This one took the cake. 2 different vehicles, 2 car seats in each. UGH. I didn't get out of there until 6:45pm. The grandma of these 2 kids was in by us a couple of weeks ago, and mentioned that the parents were divorcing. Pretty obvious because they couldn't hardly look at each other without biting the other one's head off. Mom is wearing looney tunes pajama pants and has a hickey on her neck. I spent the whole time wondering where the hickey came from. The only reason I made the connection between grandma and these kids was that the baby's name is Hemi, you know like the Dodge truck engine. Hemi. Dad pulls in in a 2005 Dodge truck and I start to wonder how a WIC family can afford this. We have a 2002 Taurus, 1998 Saturn and 1997 truck. But his truck was clean and the seats went in fairly easily. He leaves and mom pulls in with her vehicle, which is a loaner because her Jeep Grand Cherokee limited is in the shop. The vehicle she had was a Jeep Compass and it was a huge pita to put car seats in. Don't buy one people if you have kids. So I spent the time we're putting the car seats in the Compass wondering why I'm busting my ass on this car when she's going to go pick up her other one tomorrow. She basically ignores her older kid and props up a bottle for 6 week old Hemi.

I know I bitch and moan about this all the time, but seriously why can these irresponsible people keep popping out kids and I can't? Every single seat was in SO WRONG, either way too loose, or the straps were super loose, twisted or threaded really weird. Do people not realize what will happen to your kids if you got in a crash? Kids die in car crashes, one died here a couple of years ago. Every kid smelled like they came straight from McDonald's and I was getting really sick of seeing the cigarette boxes, super nice cell phones and 500 fast food bags in cars. So you can't afford a car seat for your kid, but you can afford all that other crap? UGGGGGHHHHH.....

So I was in a super bad mood when I got home at 7:15pm last night and the fact that I caught Paige's cold did not help. I slept like absolute shit last night, now my throat hurts, I'm achey and tired, and I'm extremely stuffed up again. This is getting old.

I Just Don't Know Anymore

I'm at a loss of what to do with Paige. She has been driving me absolutely insane the last few weeks. She is such a whinebag and cries all the time. I cannot handle it. I'm not sure what time she woke up this morning, somewhere between 5-5:30am, watched cartoons or did whatever until about 8am (nice, huh), got me up and is now in her room for talking back and being whiney. It's 8:30am. The other day after I picked her from Sandi's, she only lasted 10 minutes before being sent to her room. I. Cannot. Take. It. Anymore. I honestly don't even want to be around her right now. Oh and surprise surprise, she has yet another cold. It's just one constant cold all the time since she doesn't eat worth a damn and doesn't get enough sleep. Last night she was in bed at 7pm. We probably could have put her down at 6pm. She looks like a bag of crap this morning, tired eyes and big bags and dark circles under her eyes.

She takes vitamins, but I guess that's not enough to make up for the worst diet ever. I was venting to my mom last night and she said maybe we should just make whatever Paige wants for supper and just give up the battle. It's been a huge power struggle for over 3 years and I can't fight it anymore. We've done it all...sticker charts, taking away her blankie, bedtime books, snack, etc., packing up her food and not letting her eat anything until she eats that food, threats, bribes, everything. I give up. It's not working. She is a terrible eater at school and at Sandi's too, so it's not just us.

Please don't take this wrong, I love this child so much it kills me. But honestly, she is wearing on my last nerve right now. No advice needed, I just needed to vent.

Doctor Appointment

I had my annual exam today and really needed to go in to make sure I got my happy pill refill. Mama needs her happy pills. Our next step is to have Mike tested and Dr. Gibson sent an order to the lab for that. Hopefully he can get in soon. I have to call him today and have him call the lab. Dr. Gibson originally suggested taking a break from Clomid, then going back on it for 3 more months and if that didn't work, he'd have me see Dr. Sevarino, the infertility dr. I said I'd prefer to see Sevarino now rather than wait. Gibson was totally fine with it. I told him I'd go back to him after I got pregnant! He also had really good things to say about Sevarino, so that's good. Gibson is also going to review my x-rays with the radiologist from the HSG to make my tubes are completely open. He's going to take all this info and write up a little report on me and give it to Sevarino. He's super cool. I feel like we're moving in the right direction.

Dylan had his hernia surgery this morning and it went fine. His dr. found a hernia in his left testicle during his 2 month visit a couple of weeks ago. They checked the right one today and found one there so they removed that too. Since it was at Aurora this morning, I was able to stop in and see K and Tom while they were waiting for him to come out of recovery. He was so good! Since he was completely knocked out, he couldn't eat anything after midnight and his surgery was at 7:30am. K was a nervous wreck about that, but being the Superbaby he is, he slept through the night and didn't cry ONCE. Not while getting strapped into the car seat, not on the ride to the hospital (he slept!), or not while he was getting prepped for surgery. I have NEVER met a more easy baby. They lucked out! Especially since K was born with devil horns and cried constantly.

I worked out at our high school gym this morning from 5:50-6:45 am. CRAZY!!!! It went pretty well. I did a half hour on the treadmill, upper body weights, then about 10 minutes on the elliptical. Too much walking on the treadmill, my left heel is hurting. I'm going to stick to the elliptical tomorrow. I'm so tired right now! I had a conference call from 1-3pm and I put my head down on my desk and I honestly think I fell asleep for a few minutes. There's parts of the call I don't remember.

I had 12 missed calls on my phone when I got in today so I better get to checking those. Good times.

Third Times NOT The Charm

Blood test was negative. Three months of Clomid and monthly progesterone tests and ovulation predictors and having sex NOW for nothing. I have to go off the Clomid now because Dr. Gibson will only keep a woman on it for 3 months. Take a break for a couple of months, then 3 more months of Clomid.

I kind of knew it would be negative because I went to the bathroom after the blood draw and I was spotting bright red. The blood test result just confirmed what I already knew. I was at this big work event I planned, so I had to go to the bathroom to cry, then put on my happy face for the next few hours.

I'm due for my yearly exam and need my Lexapro refilled so I'm going in next week for my exam and Lexapro refill. I guess we'll take more about what to do, but Mike WILL get tested. And soon. I'm sick of this bullshit.

To top it off I have a miserable cold. I'm extremely stuffed up and sneezing constantly. Not fun.

Blood Test

I called the nurse today at my clinic and told her I want to come in tomorrow for a blood pregnancy test. I have to know. I can't wait so long like I did with the last cycle only to have my period be over a week late. So the lab opens up at 7:30 am and I'm going to try to get there as soon as I can in the morning. The nurse told me to call after about 2 hours after I have it done so she can tell me the results. She's really nice. She said that first morning urine is the best (as opposed to 1am pee) and maybe I just didn't have enough of the pregnancy hormone in there to make the test turn positive. And TMI alert, I've had some brown discharge which could be a sign of early pregnancy-it's your body's way of getting way of old blood.

I had me a little shopping spree yesterday. To the tune of around $450. I got a new comforter set, new sheets, 2 wall hangings for our bedroom (all from Home Goods, thanks for the tip Krista!!!) and at Kohl's I got a new T-Fal cookware set, an extra frying pan, new silverware and jeans and a spring top for Paige. In addition to the $100-some bucks I spent at Kohl's a few weeks ago on shirts. I think some of them are going back. I'm going to have to bring this stuff in the house in stages. It's all in the trunk of my car, and I brought in the comforter yesterday. We still need new window treatments and paint for the bedroom. I love the comforter and it was only $70 for the comforter, bedskirt, 2 pillows and 2 pillow shams. It's a light blue with a solid brown square in the middle. I'll post pix. I think we'll paint the walls a light brown and not sure what to do about the window treatments. Maybe wooden blinds?

Blah

According to a digital HPT, I am NOT PREGNANT. I am so upset. I'm calling the doctor today to get in for a blood test tomorrow. I woke up at 1am this morning thinking it was much later, like 4 or 5am. This is the problem with having the eyesight of a 90 year old when I don't have my glasses on. So I figure this is was a good time to take the test and it came up negative. I go back to bed, look at the clock and realize it's 1am. DUH. So between the negative test and a miserable cold I have, I slept like poo last night. Then I don't know if Max was trying to "comfort" me or just irritate the crap out of me but it seemed like everytime I would finally settle in to sleep, I felt 4 paws suddenly jump on my body. UGH.

I woke up at 6:15 am to exercise, but feel like crap so I'm not going to. Hopefully I can make it through the day. I'm so tempted to call in. Maybe I'll leave around noon.

Off to shower and get ready for work. Hey maybe I'll actually get there on time at 8am...what a concept.

45

So I get a call from the nurse on Wednesday that my progesterone level was 45 this cycle. Um, what? I thought Dr. Gibson wanted it between 15-20, why is it 45? So I asked her if she was using a different scale or measurement because my last one was 17. She just said "no that's right." So I said "but my last one was 17" and she goes "I know." Something clicked and I asked if this meant I'm pregnant. She of course said no because the progesterone test is not a pregnancy test. So I call my friend Erica who is a women's health nurse practitioner and she says that it's a very good sign and also that progesterone is the hormone that prepares your lining for the embryo to implant. I'm going crazy here! And this chart does not help:

Progesterone during menstrual cycle
Day 1-14 >1 to 1.5 ng/ml
Day 15-28 2-28 ng/ml

Progesterone during pregnancy
First Trimester 9-47 ng/ml
Second Trimester 17-147 ng/ml
Third Trimester 55-200 ng/ml

Mine was taken on day 21 of my cycle. Another friend reminded me of the possiblitity of multiples, especially since I am on my third round of Clomid. High progesterone could indicate multiples.I know it sounds crazy but that thought has crossed my mind too. But I'd rather have 2 babies than no baby.

I'm going to hold out until Monday before I pee on a stick. I'm on pins and needles!

In other news, my coworkers suck. Well they always suck, but right now it's even more than usual. I'm planning a smoke free air town hall meeting along with another county that's taking place next week Friday. We're having speakers on secondhand smoke, legislators will be there, we're inviting the media and smoke free air supporters. It's a big deal. I sent an email out to my co workers basically begging and pleading them to come. My boss already said she can't. Great, thanks for your support. Another coworker had a student nurse with her yesterday and was introducing her to everyone. She comes in my room and goes "oh what about that tobacco thing you have coming up? when is that? I deleted the email you sent me." BITCH. I seriously cannot believe how heartless people can be. Another coworker is asking for my help on some press release stuff and I said it will have to wait until after this event. She kept bugging me until my boss finally told her to back off. Thank god I have my friend Lisa here. She's the only other non-nurse in our program and she plans large events like this, so she totally gets it. She's even calling the people I sent invitations to to get an RSVP from them. She told the one nurse who was bugging me about the press release what a big deal this is and the retard co worker finally got it, and even said she'd apologize to me. Has she yet? Of course not. Grrrr.....

I Think My Cat Is Gay

Not that there's anything wrong with that! He has the most effiminate sounding "meow" and he meows ALL THE DAMN TIME. Everytime he moves, he meows. Everytime the dog walks by him, he meows. Everytime we look at him, he meows. Because he's HUGE and tiger striped and a boy, I expected him to have this manly, almost growly sounding meow, but no, it's almost like a whine. He grooms the dog. He has major food issues. He's a girl! Maybe because his balls were chopped off. Who knows. But we still love him dearly. Him and the dog have started "wrestling" and it's absolutely hilarious.

Waiting to hear the results of the progesterone test I had done yesterday. And of course there was another pregnant woman in the waiting room. Seriously, could I go once for a blood draw and not have a pregnant woman sitting there?

I'm starting to feel like the world's worst parent. I'm sort of in a phase where I really don't like Paige right now. After talking with some mom friends at an MNO a few weeks ago, I really changed my perspective and was enjoying the time we spent together. Now I'm ready to sell her to the gypsies. Her sassy talk IS SO ANNOYING. She's in a cycle now where she pretty much doesn't eat supper, so she gets a bath and goes straight to bed. Then she wakes up at 5am STARVING, is up for the rest of the day and is an absolute mess all day. Sunday was a nightmare. She honestly couldn't talk without whining or crying. I was at the end of my rope and so desperate to escape, I went up to the Family Dollar to browse. You have to make do in a small town. Now all she wants to do is webkinz, so when we get home, we park it in the recliner with the laptop, I watch TV and she does webkinz. Nice quality bonding time, huh? I don't want to play the Wii or any games or toys with her because she's a big whiny mess. She refuses to talk about school for some reason and gives me huge attitude when I ask what she did at school. So we basically don't talk. She does webkinz, I watch TV. Good times at our house.