Not Fair

So I'm at a meeting today and one of the presenters walks in with her baby and a few people down from me is a pregnant chick. Looking at this sentence, I realize most people would be like, so? But for someone who wants a baby so badly, it hit me in the gut. Then the pregnant chick says her boy name is.....wait for it.....Dawson. WTF?!?! What happened to normal names like Ryan, Joe, Daniel, Matthew, Mark, Luke, John. Ok slipping into disciple mode, but still they are good names. Oh and a guy I work with who has an 8 month old baby just found out his wife is pregnant with #2. Great.

So seriously, the bad names are everywhere. Another friend is having a boy and is going to name him Carver. Again, WTF?!?!?! Why are we making up names? I know there are some other ones out there, they are just not coming to me.

So the sickies are going around. Paige had a bad cold all weekend, Sunday night into Monday I started having bad chills, then woke up extremely achy and weak. So I stayed home all day Monday from work. I kept Paige home with me Monday morning, but sent her to school that afternoon. She seemed to be doing better, but then her teacher told me she was really tired all afternoon. UGH, I can't win. She didn't seem sick enough to stay home from school. A bunch of kids at the sitter's are dropping like flies too, and when I picked Paige up this afternoon her boyfriend (they've lived together for like 10 years and have a kid, I have no idea why they aren't married) told me Sandi started puking around 3pm. She's closed tomorrow. I'm so busy at work and I really needed to go in tomorrow. I'm definitely working Friday to make up for being out on Monday. I'm thinking about going in to work while Paige is at school in the afternoon, and then going back in at night when Mike is home. UGH.

Man I am so boring. I seriously cannot believe I just blogged this stuff-boring.

25 Things About Me

So there's this thing going around my FB friends where you are supposed to write a list of 25 random things about yourself. Well, I'm FB impaired and can't figure out how to post it there, so here ya go.
1. I like to think I'm self sufficient and independent, but I need Mike. I love that man so much and would be lost without him.
2. I love Paige so much it hurts. Now I know how much my mom loves me.
3. I want to get pregnant so bad it hurts.
4. I think of my life as before October 18, 2007 and after that date. It's the date my dad was found not guilty.
5. I don't think I'll ever forget hearing "not guilty" and literally falling to my knees.
6. I'm a very aggressive driver, except when Paige is in the car.
7. I have never had a speeding ticket.
8. I'm extremely judgemental and opinionated.
9. I love to read.
10. It drives me crazy when parents turn their babies forward facing on their 1st birthday. Keep them rear facing until 2 years old!!!!
11. I hate hot weather.
12. I don't mind snow and winter.
13. I'm insanely proud and jealous of my sister at the same time. Parenting comes so naturally to her.
14. I had horrible PPD after I had Paige, and cried all time time until my zoloft kicked in. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I still can't look at her newborn pictures without getting a sick feeling in my stomach remembering how miserable I was.
15. I over-shop and over-eat to deal with stress. I gained a lot of weight and put us in credit card debt before my dad's trial.
16. I can sew pajama's and dresses for Paige. I wish I had the patience to learn more.
17. I yell too much at Paige.
18. SAHMs really bug the shit out of me with some of their comments "oh I could never put my kid in daycare, i'm so glad my husband has to go out in this weather and not me, i'm so lucky my husband works so hard to support me SAH." Shut the fuck up. Seriously.
19. I work with complete retards.
20. We took in a stray cat last month and he's awesome.
21. I would not be a good SAHM.
22. I LOVE my laptop.
23. I live in a small house (1040 sq. feet) and like it. It's less to clean.
24. My friends rock.
25. My family rocks and I love them.

Single Moms

Not to be confused with my current favorite song Single Ladies, I'm talkin single moms. Mike is out of town for the weekend, he left last night leaving me and the kid to not drive each other nuts. School was called off today which kind of stressed me out. Last night they were going to have a 2 hour delay which wouldn't have affected Paige's school at all, but this AM, it was closed. Seriously, they could have stuck with the 2 hour delay. Whatever. We had our moments today, but thank God for webkinz and the Wii. Actually, most of our moments came during Wii play. She gets frustrated so easily just like me, so it was so hard to stay calm with her while she was getting so mad. So really thank God for webkinz.

Tomorrow Ding Dong Dog starts doggy school-Saturday morning dog obidience classes for 8 weeks. She is a sweetie, but really needs some training. I'm dropping Paige off at a friend's house who has a daughter a year older than her, and they play together beautifully. I saw on the news tonight that we are supposed to get 4-7 inches of snow tomorrow so I'm sure we'll venture out to play in the white stuff tomorrow. Paige LOVES it.

Sunday we are going to Badger Bouncers and Luigi's with some other friends of ours. Aren't we just the social butterflies?

So after talking to the nurse on Wednesday, I started spotting so I knew my period was on it's way. Sure enough, it hit this morning packing a punch. I think super miserable periods are a side effect of Clomid. TMI alert-I'm going through tampons like crazy and ibuprofen like it's candy. Basically the ibuprofen is taking the edge off my cramps, but not getting rid of them completely. Good times. So since my progesterone was in the range the doctor likes, he's keeping me at 100 mg of Clomid. When Mike gets back on Sunday, I'm going to have him call the Aurora lab to get tested. The thought of it kind of skeeves me out, but whatever. I've had enough blood draws and crotch exams, I think he can do this.

Had a bowling excursion with my mom's group this week for a mom's night out. WHAT A BLAST!!!!! I think I bowled a 40 the first game, but rebounded and scored an 80 the next one. WHO HOO!

Off to hit the hay.

My Confusing Body

So my blood pregnancy test was negative. I was so upset yesterday. It was rough. Today is day 32 of my cycle and I still haven't gotten my period.

I just got done talking to the nurse at Dr. Gibson’s office and the plan now is to have me take progesterone pills daily until I get my period. It’s a 10 day prescription so if I still don’t have my period after the 10 days, I go in for another pregnancy test. This same thing actually happened to his nurse, she took the 10 days of pills, no period, went in for another pregnancy test and she was pregnant! Her son is totally fine and she said if I am pregnant the progesterone pills won’t hurt the baby. If I do get my period, I’ll do an increased dose of Clomid, probably 150 mg. The nurse will write the order to have Mike tested at their lab. He’s totally on board with it. The only thing that stinks is that their lab is only open M-F 8-4:30p. That so does not work with his work schedule. Hopefully we can make special arrangements or he can go into work late one day. His work is so inflexible, but we’ll just have to make it work.

A coworker announced the other day that she is pregnant and due in June. I've already had to slam my door shut so I don't have to hear everyone congratulate her. Just an FYI and this will sound harsh, but get over it. If you announce you're pregnant and I'm not, I will not be happy for you. Deal with it. With that said, here's a few more do's and dont's:

DO NOT tell me to just relax and it will happen. Gee, really?
DO NOT tell me you are pregnant. See above.
DO NOT tell me to consider adoption. I've carried my own baby and I want to do it again.
DO NOT tell me I have one beautiful child and should be happy that I have her. Yeah I know, but I want to make her a big sister.
DO NOT tell me how you can just look at your husband and get pregnant.
DO NOT find out the gender of your baby and tell me you are disapointed with the gender.
DO tell me that you are thinking of me and praying for me.
DO just be there to listen and let me vent.
DO stop reading this blog if you are sick of hearing me vent about not being able to get pregnant. It will likely be a main topic of discussion for a while.

Public Service Announcement over. Thank you.

10 Things About My Day

Short and sweet, folks.

1. I got to work on time today! Whoo hoooo!!!! I figured since I have to get to the sitter's by 4:30, I better get to work by 8am so I can get my full day in.

2. I ordered a Wii! Whooo hoooo again! They have been damn near impossible to get a hold of and I was so jazzed to finally find one. It should be here between Friday and next Wednesday.

3. I still haven't gotten my period and did not take a pregnancy test today. I'm going to Aurora tomorrow for a blood test. I'm on day 30 of my cycle and they are usually 25-27 days.

4. A coworker announced she's pregnant at a staff meeting and I couldn't bring myself to congratulate her.

5. Paige picked pizza for supper (her reward for getting 5 stickers on her eating sticker chart) and I didn't feel like a frozen pizza so I asked Mike to pick up a Papa Murphy's on his way home. I ate three pieces and way too many of the cheese fries.

6. I just got done doing 30 minutes of Turbo Jam. Fun fun!

7. I just threw laundry in the dryer and I bet I won't fold it for days, and then won't put it away for a few more days after that.

8. My boss told us today that our agency has to cut $400,000 from our 2010 budget. I'm wondering how they are going to do that without cutting positions.

9. I wrote a kick ass email to the managing editor of our gay little newspaper who called the tobacco compliance checks I coordinate a "sting" operation.

10. We decided to keep Paige at her current sitter's until this summer when we'll put her in the daycare center. Since she's in school now it doesn't make much sense to put her in a preschool like setting in the morning and then school in the afternoon.

The Tree Is Down

Our tree has been up since Thanksgiving weekend and the time has come to take it down. Neither one of us has watered it for probably two weeks, so you can imagine the mess it made. Since there were pine needles EVERYWHERE, we decided to move all of the furniture and vacuum the living room really well. We attempted to rearrange the living room for the 50th time since we've lived in this house and decided after almost an hour that it just won't work. We have a small room and this huge ass recliner that I just about live in. If we didn't have it, we could rearrange, but I'm not willing to part with this chair. It rocks my world. So my living room doesn't feel so gross. There are no piles of dog hair in the corners. It's a nice way to live. It will probably only last a day.

The kitchen and bathroom on the other hand....GRRROOOOOSSS. I'm taking a break, then am going to vacuum the kitchen. There's random crap all over my house too which is annoying me.

I've gotten 2 negative pregnancy tests, am on day 29 of my cycle and no sign of my period in sight. SO ANNOYING!!!!! My last cycle was 27 or 28 days, so I'm officially late. I didn't take a test today. My cycles have been 25-27 days pre-clomid. I have had heartburn up the ying-yang and my appetite completely disappears when we sit down to eat supper. The other night Hu Hot sounded terrible. WTF?!?!?!?!

I'm still in my pajama's. I have to shower and get ready to go to GB to shop for Dylan's baptism gift for TOMORROW. I also have a shitpile of stuff to return at the mall and Target. We need to start saving money and I have been shopping way too much lately. Well, I always shop way too much.

We're putting the kid in a different daycare. Her sitter sent home a note this week saying that as of the new year she was closing at 4:30pm, except for Wednesdays when she closes at 4pm. So I have to leave work a half hour early every Wednesday to go get her. The closing at 4:30pm just will not work for us. She's also taking a bunch of days off in the summer which means either I take those days off too or make arrangements for Paige. That wouldn't be too hard since someone from my family could watch her. But, still a pain in the ass. I think she's getting burnt out and only wants teacher's kids. She's good with the babies up to about age 2, but then expects the big kids to entertain themselves. I had considered sending Paige to the daycare center in town this summer because she could get bored at the sitter's. We toured the center yesterday and it's really nice. It's extremely secure and the staff was all very nice. This summer Paige will be in the school age room and they go on field trips every other week in the summer. They go to the county fair, mini golfing, bowling, rollerskating, and to the children's musuem in Appleton. Of course this all comes at additional cost. During the school year, it will be $40 more a week and in the summer $65 more a week. We can afford it, but it will be slightly painful. We'll have to cut back on stuff. Hence, the return crap at the mall mission and quit shopping like crazy.

Mike is on a Wii mission. He has walmart.com up on the computer at all times and keeps refreshing it every couple of minutes. They come in stock on the walmart website every couple of hours, but sell out within 5 minutes. Literally.

OK off to shower and go be productive.

Where Are Thou Wii?

So my in laws have a Wii and we became addicted to it. We kicked around getting one because the in laws gave us $150. Well this weekend my parents gave us $100 and my grandma gave us $50 so that sealed the deal. We have enough to get the Wii and Wii play. Well apparently everyone else in the world decided to get one too because we can't find one ANYWHERE!!!!! Sunday we stopped at the DePere walmart, they were out and claimed the west side and east side walmarts were also out too. We called the Suamico and Bay Park Square shopkos, target, and best buy. No dice. I even called the Pamida in Oconto and they are out too! Mike's route is in Sheboygan and he was quite confident he could get one at the north side walmart there. Walmarts are EVERYWHERE!!!! Again, no dice. I'm kicking myself because last night on gamestop.com you could pre order one and it would be shipped on January 14th. They wouldn't charge you until it shipped and I had a free shipping code. WHY DIDN'T I ORDER FROM THERE?!?!!? They are gone now. And being the stubborn folk we are, we refuse to buy one on ebay or amazon for $50 more when we can get it in store for the regular price. I'm really irritated with the in laws because while the $150 was nice, they gave it to us in American Express gift cards that we can only use in a store. You can't use them online. What a PITA. Just write us a check. I'm being impatient. I know we'll get one eventually, I just want it NOW.

I'm home with the kid right now because she puked at school. I figured she'd lay low all afternoon, but again, no dice. She watched a movie, but keeps begging me for food. I've been really hesitant to give her too much because I don't want it coming back up. So far she's eaten 3 pieces of toast and some pretzels. She is basically back to her normal, annoying self. We just got done playing checkers and it was slightly nightmarish. She keeps asking when Mike will get home. Um, WTF?!?! Am I not good enough?

Hey M, you asked if Paige has gotten a basketball in her hands. Of course!!!! Her mom is a bball fanatic and her grandpa and auntie are former coaches. My dad got her a basketball for Christmas, and here's a video Mike took during the Janssen (my maiden name) Coaching Clinic in my parent's basement.


Babymaking update: My progesterone is in the normal range! YAHOO!!!! It's supposed to be between 15-20 and mine was 17. I'm so excited! I'm testing this Friday if I can hold out that long. I have those digital tests. I'm not feeling my normal about to get my period symptoms. I can't sleep worth a damn right now and am tired as all hell. Normally my head hits the pillow and I'm comatose until my alarm goes off. Also I have killer heartburn at night. So I'm hopeful.

I am so busy at work, and having to take off this afternoon did not help. I really don't want to go in on Friday afternoon because I need to go shopping for a baptism gift for Dylan. His baptism is this Sunday. I also don't really want to go into work on a Saturday, but we'll see how much I can get done tomorrow and Thursday.

Large

I seriously cannot believe I'm buying Paige clothes that are a girl's size large to wear next year! I like to hit end of the season clearance sales to buy for next year and I have been lucky that I've been getting her size right. I was kind of freaked out last January when I was buying medium tops (size 7/8) and size 6 pants at Children's Place for her to wear this year....THEY FIT! She's 4. She typically goes up a size every season, but I'm figuring she has to slow down at some point. So I bought some large tops (10/12) and size 8 pants online at TCP. I'm very interested to see what they look like when they get here. Today I bought her some jammies for next winter and also got them in a large because right now she's wearing a medium in Carter's pj's. WTF?!?!?! It's really bizarre buying clothes made to fit an 8-10 year old for kid to wear when they are 5.

Babymaking update: I may have mentioned in my last post that I was ovulating at the in laws. Good times. So being the discreet adults we are, the hubby and I managed to sneak in 2 nights of good, quiet babymaking. One night we ended up on the floor. How romantic are we?!?!? Today I went in for my 7 day post ovulation progesterone test. I'm usually a big weenie about getting blood drawn but this wasn't so bad. I'm starting to get annoyed though at the fact that every time I go to the Aurora lab, there is a pregnant woman there for her glucose test. Today I overheard the b/day of the preggo there and she was born in 1988. Again WTF?!?! So not fair. I'm feeling really bloated and slightly crampy the past few days so I'm getting my hopes up that that little embryo is implanting in my nice cozy uterus. I'll know in a week.

Our week of mother daughter togetherness drew to a close today. Thank god. We visited a friend and her kids today, one is the same age as Paige and they ride the bus to school every day. Paige was a huge pita and would not get off my lap. I was SO ANNOYED!!! She has actually been a huge pita all day today. I'm so sick of the talking back.

Tomorrow is our family Christmas at my mom and dad's. I'm really excited!