Thursday, September 28, 2006

I'm Drained

This working mom thing is bringing me down. Now I know the SAHM thing is not for me, but I just wish Mike had a different job so that he could help out with drop off and pick up. I mean he will when he has to (like when I'm out of town for work, or have to work late), but even one day a week where he was in charge of drop off and pick up would be nice, but it's just not possible where he's at right now.

But work has been very draining lately. The morale is horrible; the crap that other people can get away with makes me sick. For example the admin manager had her 40th (yes, 40th) work anniversary the other day so she brought in a bunch of food. Obviously she has way too much time at home and at work because she brought so much food she had to use a dolly to bring it in to the office and spent an hour of work time chopping veggies, cheese, sausage, and setting everything else up. My office is right by the break room so I could hear her chattering to everyone that came in about her anniversary and longevity check that came in over the weekend. IT WAS SO ANNOYING. This is from the same manager that yelled at our secretary for taking too long to put flowers in a vase. I slammed my door shut after about 10 minutes. I just can't tolerate that kind of shit.

Today we had an preparedness exercise (like a simulation or rehearsal) of a plague release by terrorists. We had to pretend that it really happened and open up a mass clinic to dispense meds to those exposed. I'm the Public Information Officer which does ALL of the media work, so I'm in what's called the Emergency Operations Center or the EOC. It was a huge joke. It was a mess. Completely unorganized and totally chaotic. My boss tried to do her best, but she's supposed to work closely with our Emergency Management director and he's an incompetent piece of shit. He really fucked the whole thing up. Later on we were supposed to share our thoughts and I said if we ever have an emergency here and have to open up and EOC I'm scared of what will happen. I spent tons of time preparing for this and making sure I knew my stuff and we spent the whole time trying to get organized.

Got back to my office a little after 4pm (quitting time) and realized that a co worker and I are supposed to present to an elementary school Tuesday afternoon on booster seats and we haven't done a thing to prepare. Not a big deal, but I'm off on Monday, and have a car seat apt. and meeting Tuesday afternoon. So I very quickly ran off 125 copies of a letter to parents, 125 color copies of a booster seat coupon, but still have to go over the cirriculum with my co worker, make 125 copies of a few other sheets, and find the stickers we pass out and video we show. I have about 2 hours on Tuesday to do this, plus catch up from being gone for a few days. I'M SO STRESSED!!!!!!

Plus I'm getting a cold. At least my dad is coming up tomorrow to watch Paige so I won't have to drop off and pick up. He also offered to cook supper tomorrow night and I'm sure he'll do laundry if I leave directions for him. He's a good dad.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Ho Hum

Nothing too exciting to report. Let's see, I'll do a quick recap of the past few days.

Thursday: worked and then had a mom's night out with this mom's group I joined. It's through moms.meetup.com, and all of the get togethers are in Green Bay. It's mostly SAHM so most of the get togethers are playdates during the weekdays, but I've been to a few of the mom's nights out. It is a really fun group and it's making me even more anxious to sell our house and move! Anyway Thursday night was a night out at this pottery painting, jewerly making place and I made a bracelet for my mom from Paige. It had silver balls and charms that each said hope, faith, love, family and a cross. Kind of fitting for what we are going through right now.

Friday: my usual day home with Paige. She slept until 9:45 am!!! WTF?!?!?! Of course, she didn't nap that day, but not for lack of trying on my part. Oh well, at least I got to sleep in!

Saturday-Sunday: at my parent's house for my mom's birthday. She really seemed to like the jammies I made for her and the bracelet I made Thursday night. She of course had to wash the jammies right away just to "freshen them up", but I know it was to rid the dog cooties off of them. She's not a dog person. Paige was fairly well behaved there, didn't nap again on Saturday. We went out to eat that night and was pretty ancy. Luckily my dad has the patience of a saint and took her outside and walked around with her. Sunday we went to church where she was as my mom put it "active"; I put it as she was a hellion. The lady behind me even said "looks like she gives you a run for your money." I just nodded and agreed! Got home from church, fed her lunch and left for home. I was pretty anxious to get home. It's just kinda stressful being there when my sister is there. We're both so moody and push each other's buttons. Sunday I came home to a dog smelling dirty house and was not pleased. Mike had a friend over for the weekend and they went....FISHING!!!! The friend has a dog who must really stink because our house smelled like a kennel. So I had to jack Mike up for sitting on his ass for 2.5 hours after his friend left rather than rid our house of the dog stentch and hair all over. So Mike took a cranky Paige downstairs and attempted to keep her squawking to a minimum while I vacuumed and cleaned our floors like a crazy woman. I was sweating. Not fun.

Anyway, yesterday and today were just usual get ready, drop Paige off, work, pick up Paige days. Yesterday I was super lazy and didn't cook so we had Chunky soup! Today I got home early and actually cooked a decent meal, pork chops, rice and mixed veggies. Paige of course didn't eat, but seemed to be alright with leaving the kitchen and playing in her room while we finished up. Maybe we're making progress in that area.

Ok, this turned into a long blog. I know I know, I should just blog more often!!!!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Lost and Found

Lost: one semi-sweet little girl

Found: one drama queen who hits, sasses, screams, squawks at EVERYTHING her dad and I say and refuses to eat.

The past few days have been pretty bad. I keep wondering what are we doing wrong? Is this just a phase or is this how life is going to be? Is it going to get worse? Is it because she's tired? If she's tired, why doesn't she sleep more? And the real kicker: WHY WON'T SHE EAT?!?!?!?!

Last night was one of the worst nights with her. She actually had a sassy day at Sandi's and had to sit in time out there. That's really unusual; she's normally an angel there and I think this was only the 2nd time she's sat in TO there. We got home, and as we are walking in, she didn't like something I said and hit me, so automatic 2 minute TO. She of course screamed the whole time. So I don't know if she was mad at me the rest of the night or what, BUT I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT LAST NIGHT. It was awful. Every word I said, every move I made I got sassed or squawked at. I can't really even describe it.

Every supper is a battle. We had leftover sloppy joes last night and I told her all she had to eat was the bun. What kid doesn't like buns? Well ours I guess. She refused so we said if you're not going to eat, then leave the table and the kitchen. She actually took that pretty well and played on her own for a bit. She kept asking for peanut butter or pasta, but we said no.

This one takes the cake...I pulled up to Sandi's the other day and all the kids were outside eating fruit snacks. I said, wow, I thought you didn't like fruit snacks. I know dumb thing to say, but Sandi was like "really, she eats them here." We can't get her to touch them at home. What kid doesn't eat fruit snacks? Do you know how utterly frustrating it is to KNOW she eats something at Sandi's but not here? UGH!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, September 18, 2006

Long Weekend

It was the usual Friday-Sunday, but it felt like much longer than that and here's why:

Friday: My usual day home with Paige. It was hmmm, how shall I say this...interesting? She has suddenly developed a bossy and defiant streak. The terrible two's have arrived at our house! "I want Cheerios. I want pudding. I want pasta. I wear brown shoes. Mama, watch out. Mama come here!" We're working on her saying "please" like "Mama can I please have Cheerios?" But it comes out like this:
Paige: "I want cheerios!"
Me:"What do you say?"
Paige: stares back, knowing full well what to say, but won't say it
Me: "Please? Say I want cheerios please"
Paige: (who normally copies my every word) "please"

UGGGHHHH!!!!!

Saturday: Guess what Mike did? If you said fishing, you're correct! I'M SO SICK OF FISHING AND CAN'T WAIT UNTIL HE STOPS GOING AT 5AM AND IS TIRED THE REST OF THE DAY BUT WON'T ADMIT HE'S TIRED. I needed some interfacing for the jammies I'm making for my mom's birthday present this Saturday and needed to get out of the house, so I took Paige to Walmart in Green Bay. She was actually quite good. Got home, fed her lunch, put her down for a nap, then volunteered at our church picnic all afternoon selling raffle tickets. Got home, and took Paige back up to the picnic for supper. Visited with some people we know, played at the park for a while, then came home and put Paige to bed. Mike went out in the garage to fix the Saturn, I went to turn on the kitchen faucet and as I shut it off, the handle popped off and the water kept running. I yelled for Mike to come in NOW and he luckily got the water to stop, but declared that we needed a new faucet. UGH!

Sunday: I take Paige to church and rather than come with us, Mike goes to Green Bay to get a new kitchen faucet. I'm still slightly peeved about that. He could've waited the hour we were in church, but nooooooo. But luckily Paige was good again in church. She got a little ancey a few times, but quiet and well behaved overall. Mike takes WAY too long in Green Bay and doesn't get home until almost lunchtime. So I put him in charge and it takes Paige an hour to eat lunch because he kept negiotiating with her. But whatever. I put her down and sit down to read the paper and watch football. About 2pm, Mike's cell phone rings and it's his dad. Him and Mike's stepmom are on their way to Green Bay to see Mike's step sister and then us, and their car is broke down in Green Bay. Mike gives them a tow truck phone number and heads down to Green Bay for the 2nd time in one day. Paige is still napping, but I lose it. I was so hoping for some time to myself, or at least for Mike to take over with Paige after her nap, but NOOOOOOO. And of course Mike or his dad had no clue if they were going to see the step sister or come straight here or whatever. Neither option was that good. They opt to see the stepsister and work on her car. Mike calls from her college and says they're going to just take a look at the car and they'll be leaving in about 15 minutes. I'm like, yeah right, but whatever. So about 10 minutes later he calls and says they're going to be at least a half hour because her car is overheating, and I go "oh you don't say! I KNEW THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!!!!!" But they eventually all got to our house around 5:30 or so, and the step sister is carrying a huge laundry bag and the stepmom informs us that she needs to do laundry here. I'm thinking, huh? Are you going to pay me for it? But then she says they'll fold our laundry in return, which was much appreciated because we had at least 4 loads to be folded. I guess they had already worked it out with Mike, but he hadn't informed me of that. So we cooked pizza for supper and Paige ran around full of piss and vinegar showing off for them. I said that to her and Mike's dad said "oh no she's not showing off..don't call my girl a show-off." I said, "oh she sure is showing off" We went back and forth about 3 times before I finally dropped it, but it really chapped my ass. Um, I'm her mom, I know her BETTER than anyone else. So I got her in bed and worked on my sewing the rest of the night so I wouldn't have to talk to Mike's dad.

Today: They spent the night so they were in my way this morning, and Paige was extra-emotional and throwing fits left and right, so it was not a fun morning.

But we have a few fun things coming up. My dad called last night needing something to do tomorrow so he is going to come up and watch her and then we're going down to their place on Saturday for my mom's birthday. Mike isn't going because he'll be........FISHING!!!! But he said that it will be one of the last times he goes fishing for a while. I say IT will be the last time he goes fishing.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

A Friendship Poem to My Ya Yas

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good,but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces here-Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want to catch whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;
"because you are my friend".

Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

Love ya girls!

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Rummage Sale Update

OK, it's been a couple of days, so I don't remember everything, but here's a summary. I think I spent around $40 on Friday and got 4 pairs of pants, a dress, 3 pairs of shoes, 2 pairs of winter boots, a Blues Clues computer thing, a Leap Frog Phonics bus, a puzzle, 2 Rachael Ray cookbooks, a couple of Dr. Phil books, a Rubbermaid storage thing with 3 drawers, a shirt for myself, and a TON of books. She has plenty of clothes now!

Our weekend was a lot of fun. The wedding was really nice, and we hung out with a really fun couple. The husband was the other groomsman but his wife didn't stand up, so her and I kind of hung out when the guys were busy with wedding stuff. Saturday before the wedding, I shopped at Kohls and spent over $300. I'm returning quite a bit though, I just can't afford that. I couldn't help it though, they have such cute clothes!

My work conference was OK, some of the sessions were really good, others really boring. It was a four hour drive home, so I was SO GLAD to get here! I missed Paige so much! She changed so much in the few days I didn't see her. It's amazing how much she is talking.

I am such a klutz. I was getting gas today and tripped over the hose as it was plugged into my gas tank and actually fell down! I landed really hard on my left arm and it's really sore now. I have a digusting bruise on my knee, and my right ankle is sore too. I just about died, but I don't think anyone saw me! I was planning to go into the gas station to get a bottle of water, but changed my mind in case the person working saw me!

I am officially at my heaviest weight and I am so disgusted with my body. I'm contemplating starting WW again, but I'm just not sure if I can committ to it. If I hate my body so much and am disgusted with it, why can't I commit to a weight loss program? I must have food issues.

On that happy note...off to bed. Mama's tired!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Let the Madness Begin!

WHO HOO!!! Our citywide rummage sales started today, so I was 2 (yes, 2) hours late for work today. 1 hour was due to me not getting up until 7:15am and Paige being an overall whiny, crankypants this morning, and the other hour was rummaging.

We're broke as a joke right now, and only have $40 in our checkbook. I raided Mike's coin jar last night and picked out all the quarters and paid in quarters at 2 of the sales and for lunch today at Subway! I'm going to take out $30 to get me started at the 7am sales tomorrow morning and then run to the bank when it opens. I'm going tomorrow with a friend from work.

Today already I spent $18 and got Paige brand new snowpants, about 10 books, 3 tops, a Wiggles movie, a Little Tikes doll highchair, a winter hat, and a sweater for me! I can't wait to go tomorrow!

Mike is standing up in a wedding this weekend a couple of hours away so he has off of work tomorrow. He's going to drop Paige off at my mom and dad's tomorrow morning so I can rummage without worrying about getting back in a hurry. Then he's heading down to pick up his tux and get to the rehearsal. I'm driving separately and will probably stop and see my parents and Paige on my way down. Then I'm heading straight to a work conference on Sunday afternoon that runs until Tuesday, so I won't see Paige from Friday until Tuesday. I'm going to miss her and Mike so much! Well we're not sure if we're going to the conference because my boss didn't register us and it's full, so we'll see if they'll have room for 3 of us.

OK, it's 4:01, 1 minute past quitting time so I'm outta here!

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

I Say Darnit (and other Paige-isms....)

Paige has been talking so much and saying such funny things, I have to try to remember them. A few from the weekend:

"I say darnit": after farting, I asked her "what do you say" and I usually get a "scue me", but for some reason last night it was "I say darnit" and then she had to repeat herself over and over. It was pretty hilarious.

"I lay down mama's boob": after squirming around on my lap while rocking before bed, she finally found a comfy spot, and declared that it was on "mama's boob." Now she says it every time I rock her.

"I AM!!!!": after me telling her to put the puzzle together, she gives me this huge look full of attitude and proclaims "I AM!!!!!"

"Paige took a poop in her crib": fairly self explanatory, said to Mike after a nap. Luckily she was wearing a diaper!

"I got snots": again, fairly self explanatory, followed by one of the following several actions: walking up to Mike and wiping her nose on his shirt, wiping her own snot away with the back of her hand, or sucking the snot back in and whining "Paige can't blow" when I hold a kleenex up to her nose and tell her to blow. UGH!

That's all I can think of for now.

Our weekend was pretty low key. Paige has a cold, so we didn't want to do too much because she was quite tired and cranky. Mike ended up catching it and *knock on wood*, I still haven't. I catch all of her illnesses, so I'm shocked and avoiding Mike like the plague for fear of catching this cold. Anyway, Friday was our usual stay home and be bums day. Saturday morning, I went to a few rummage sales, then to Sam's club and grocery shopping in Green Bay by myself. Mike took Paige fishing, and then we went to the park after her nap. Sunday morning, Mike went fishing most of the morning, I took Paige to church ALONE, and then we played outside that afternoon. She just loves her sandbox and swing! She was so good in church and it was good to know that I can handle her alone. Then yesterday, we were major bums. I started working on the pj's I'm making for my mom's birthday. Knit is such a pita to work with. I can't get it to lay flat.

And now I'm back at work and procrastinating so I better roll. Hugs and kisses!