Tired

So I've been slacking on the couch to 5K program. I took about a week off then finally got on the treadmill again last night. UGH. I am so not a runner, but I know it's a good way to get in shape. I'll probably just stick with the alternating walk/run for a LONG time!!!

I have to work tomorrow at a stupid all day mandatory agency inservice. BOOOORRRINNNGGG. Sit all day and listen to speakers who have nothing to do with my job. But I'm taking next week Monday off to make up for it.

I took Paige to a kindergarden screening tonight to make sure she's on track and she is. She had a ball and didn't want to leave! I also had her hearing and vision screened and she passed both. I'm sure she'll need glasses soon, Mike and I are both blind as bats.

Mike's dad and stepmom are coming over for the weekend. Hopefully, they'll behave themselves better than last time they were here. Last time, step MIL clipped her nails in the living room, left the clipper on my end table, made a huge mess in the kitchen, stunk up my one and only bathroom, and the kicker, bagged up the garbage from their van and left it by my garage door as they left. So as you can imagine I'm TOTALLY looking forward to this weekend.

Man, I'm boring I really have nothing to report. I have clothes in the dryer and I need to hit the hay.

Couch to 5K

I'm not really sure what is possessing me to do this, but I'm on week 2 of the Couch to 5K program on coolrunning.com. Well it's week 2 for me, but I'm still on week 1 of jogging for 60 seconds and then walking for 90. I actually don't mind it too much, I put my Friends DVD in and I'm on the treadmill for 30 minutes. I'm hoping to bump it up to week 2 next week, which is jogging for 90 seconds and walking for 2 minutes. My new New Balance shoes ROCK! I totally love zappos.com, I ordered the shoes around 10pm one night, they were at my house by 4:30 THE NEXT DAY! And for free shipping! Not sure how they do it, but it's awesome.

Grrr I'm trying to print a bunch of stuff on our only color printer in the whole agency and it's not working. Love technology.

OK, so today is tax day and all that has been on the news is people waiting until the last minute. Are we supposed to feel sorry for them? Seriously, people you have like 4 months to do this. Luckily, Mike does ours online and we get our rebates within a week. I have no clue how to do our taxes, if I were ever single, I'd take them somewhere. I like to think of myself as self-sufficient but that is one thing I'm totally clueless on.

Happy Birthday Meredith!

Paige-isms

So Paige said a couple of cute things tonight that I wanted to remember. First we were at an icecream store (Coldstone Creamery) and it's obviously prom night at several high schools, and apparently CC is the spot to go. So a huge limo pulls up, about 10 girls all dressed up get out and Paige is totally fascinated. She can't stop staring at all the girls and says to Mike and I "I want to go say hi to all the princesses." It was so cute! She finally did, but Mike had to go with her-she was so proud of herself!

Second, her and Mike were browsing the end caps of Target looking for deals and she spotted something Hannah Montana and recognized it as such. When Mike asked her how she knew HM, she said she didn't know. He asked her another time and she goes "Dad, you've asked me that LIKE 20 times." WTF?!?!?! Is she 3 going on 13?

PMS

OMG I think I have the world's worst case of PMS right now, I feel like I'm going to jump out of my skin. Mike is off today and getting ready to go fishing, he won't be home until midnight or so. Paige and I are going to Hardee's with some friends to play later on this afternoon. My current bitches:
1. I got my haircut yesterday and it looks nothing like the picture I showed my stylist. I'm considering starting to hack at it myself and switching stylists. She's been going downhill on my past few cuts. But she also waxes my eyebrows and does a really good job with them.
2. Paige is driving me nuts. She's acting all weird and hyper and generally annoying.
3. BIL keeps calling Mike to talk about fishing and he talks really super loud.
4. I had an ingrown toenail removed on my right big toe, but the doc didn't get all of it. It's really starting to hurt and I don't want to have to pay another $300 for the anesthesia and go through the pain of having it removed.
5. The weather here is going to suck all weekend and we have no plans. We'll all drive each other crazy if we don't get out of this house.
6. I ran out of happy pills this morning and hate having to pay $45 every month for them. This is an ongoing bitch.
7. I REALLY REALLY REALLY want a patio set and hubby is against it. JCP has one on sale for $229 and I'm tempted to go get it today while he's gone. Damn men.
8. I have a shitload of laundry to do and I can't hang it outside because of the crappy weather.

OK enough bitching. Off to go work on the 10 loads of laundry.

Wisconsin in April

really sucks. We had 60's over the weekend, 2 days ago it snowed about an inch, and now the winds are howling and it's about 30 degrees. We're under a winter storm warning right now. But no worries, it's supposed to be back up in the 60's by the middle of next week. WTF?!?!?

So Paige is totally ga ga over her new swing set. She has been wanting to play on it non-stop which is kind of hard when it's snowing. Last night her and the neighbor girl played on it for almost an hour. I was freezing when we came back in finally.

I'm starving, I'm going to be eating lunch soon. Leftovers. It's this really yummy sweet and sour chicken that I cooked last night. I'll have to post the recipe for my ya yas.

I ordered some new shoes from zappos.com-New Balance Running shoes. I hope they get here soon because I'd really like to stick with the couch to 5K program, I'll be walking/running again tonight. I have a feeling I'm going to be stuck on week 1 for a LONG time.

MIL gave us each $75 in Visa gift cards for Christmas, but they expire at the end of this month, we each got a $50 one and a $25 one. So I tried to use the $50 to buy part of new shoes and put the rest ($14) on my CC. No go, you can only use one card. I keep forgetting I have it, so I HAVE to spend it by the end of this month. I can't just let $75 go to waste! Maybe I'll go shopping again this weekend, the weather is supposed to be crappy. I wish she would have just gotten us $75 in cash-much easier to spend!!!!

OK my tummy growling is disturbing my co workers so I better eat.

Copied from Mere's blog

1. Do you like blue cheese? Hell no

2. Have you ever smoked heroin? No, I honestly would have no idea where to even get it.

3. Do you own a gun? Technically yes because Mike owns several

4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? We don't have a Sonic here

5. Do you get nervous before doctor's appointments? Yes

6. What do you think of hot dogs? Prefer a brat (my WI people understand)

7. Favorite Christmas song? O Holy Night

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Lots of coffee

9. Can you do push ups? A few of the girly kind

10. What do you order at Starbucks? A vanilla latte

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My engagement ring

12. Favorite hobby? Read and/or sew

13. How do you eat your eggs? Over medium

14. Do you have A.D.D.? At work, yes, I can't stay focused on one thing for too long

15. What’s one trait you hate about yourself? I'm extremely judgemental

16. Your eye color? Blue

17. Name three thoughts at this exact moment? I'm blogging again...weird.

18. Name three things you bought yesterday? I don't think I bought anything yesterday. My most recent purchases were on Friday during a shopping spree for me and Paige

19. Three drinks you regularly drink? Water, coffee and Crystal Light

20. Current worry right now? Will I ever lose weight?

21. Current hate right now? My body

22. Favorite place to be? At home

23. How did you ring in New Year's? At home sleeping

24. Where would you like to go? Home, I'm sick of being at work.

25. Name three people who will complete this? Not sure

26. Do you own slippers? Yep

27. What shirt are you wearing? A robin's egg blue sweater with a white shirt underneath

28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? No too slippery and I'm a major tosser/turner

29. Can you whistle? Not a lick

30. Favorite color? Blue or pink

31. Would you be a pirate? Nope

32. What songs do you sing in the shower? I don't sing in the shower, but I do rock out in the
car :)

33. Favorite girl’s name? Well Paige of course, but other than that, Faith, Gabriella, Annaliese

34. Favorite boy’s name? Ryan Logan or Landon

35. What’s in your pocket right now? Nothing

36. Last thing that made you laugh? Talking to a work friend

37. Most frequently dialed phone number? Mike's cell

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Probably a concussion after a bad car accident.

39. Do you love where you live? Not love, but I like my small little house and am starting to get to know people in town.

40. How many TVs do you have? Three

41. Who is your loudest friend? Tara

42. How many dogs do you have? One

43. What are you thrilled about right now? Not sure

44. Do you have a crush on someone? Nope, I've been married too long! =)

45. What is your favorite book? Marley and Me, made me laugh and cry

46. What is your favorite candy? chocolate

47. Favorite Sports Team? Green Bay Packers!

48. What song do you want played at your funeral? Anything by Kenny Chesney

49. What were you doing at 12 AM last night? Sleeping

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? UGH, I hate mornings!

Crabby

OK I don't have PMS but EVERYONE is driving me nuts right now. I'm holding this stupid grudge against Mike because he got to have 2 long, fun child free weekends in the last month. Paige is driving me crazy. I'm not sure how it's possible but she has gotten even more picky in the last few weeks. She won't eat supper, goes to bed hungry, wakes up early because she is hungry and then is a bear. Good times.

So Mike first. At the end of October he was gone from Thursday night-Tuesday night, up north hunting birds and doing guy stuff. Fine. Paige and I kept busy, but still it's hard doing all the laundry, cooking, cleaning, dog care, baths, bedtimes, naptimes, etc. alone. So this past weekend was opening weekend of gun deer season. He goes up north again from Thursday night and just has to stay there until he gets a deer, he finally shoots one on Sunday and doesn't get home until 10pm. So for the 2nd weekend in less than a month, I have to listen to "I miss my daddy" all weekend. Sunday night when she was really throwing a fit, I called Mike on his cell and put Paige on the phone. I tried to make him feel bad, but I don't think it worked. He comes home with a crapload of dirty laundry, stinky, unshaven, and a deer that needs to be cut up. Great. Then he wants me to put out last night. I was in the mood for a little while, but then he started to get a little pushy about it and it turned me off. Then he got pouty, got up to take a shower, and fell asleep on the couch. Whatever.

Paige next. I'm not sure how it's possible but she has become even more picky. She's sick all the time and I know it's because her immune system is so weak from not eating fruits and veggies. She wanted mac and cheese the other night, and a very specific kind. Not the shells, just the regular plain jane kind. So I make it, and she throws a huge fit because it's yellow not orange. She picked at it for a while and then I took it away and told her no snack that night. Monday night I made this really good pork chop thing with potatoes and onions simmered in beef broth and a fruit salad. She wouldn't touch any of it. So I made her sit in her chair until she was done. She wouldn't eat it so we just put her right to bed. Last night we had it for leftovers and a different fruit salad with grapes, pineapple and mandarin oranges. She said she'd eat a few grapes and I told her to choose either one pineapple or one orange. She chose an orange and then refused to touch it. I threatened all kinds of things and she wouldn't budge. Finally I told her to go sit in a time out until it was bedtime at the end of the hall in the dark with no toys or blankie. I was livid. Mike played the good cop and convinced her to try the pineapple which she did and ended up eating like 5 of them plus a few grapes.

She has gotten even more whiney if that's possible. Last night she whined because I didn't give her floss. I made her ask for it nicely and she did and then threw a shit fit because I tore it off myself and she wanted to do it all by herself. AGH!!!! I just hear her go "mommmmmmyyyyyy" in her whiney weepy tone and it just irritates the crap out of me. It's like nails on a chalkboard.

This morning was horrible too. Mike for some reason has started to play music for her to fall asleep too. Well she woke up this morning going "DADDY? DADDY!!!! DADDY?!?!" all pissed off and throwing another shit fit because her music wasn't playing. Great way to start the day. Of course Mike had already left for work by this time. Then she insists on bringing her blankie to Sandi's and I had to say no and that led to another whiney tantrum. Why Mike has started playing music now at bedtime is beyond me. I swear that man does not think. I told him that we shouldn't do that because we don't want her to get used to the music and then have to drag a CD player everywhere we go overnight. He goes "oh yeah I never thought of that." DUH!!!!!!

Off to a work meeting. Yippee.

Is This Strange?

Because I think it is. This chick in my mom's group nurses her 3 1/2 year old son. She also nurses her younger son who will be 2 in February. She claims they are both boobie boys and that younger one wants the boob all the time. So much so that she carries him in a sling most of the day so the boobies are accessible, I guess. It doesn't gross me out, I just think it's so bizarre. But then again, this chick is STRANGE. I haven't even met her and she irritates me just by what she posts on our board.

Random thought here. People need to get over the damn Dog the Bounty Hunter using the N word. He said it in a private conversation for god's sake. There have been plenty of things I've said in private that I wouldn't want taped and released for the world to hear. Yes it's a bad word. But you can't tell me that a black person (or other race) hasn't ever called a white person a derogetory name. Besides I like his show and will be bummed if it's off the air.

OMG speaking of another show off the air...I'm hearing that Housewives will be affected by the writer's strike!!! AGH!!! That is the best show and it is so good right now! I will just cry if they start playing reruns.

I'M SO BORED AT WORK RIGHT NOW. I have done so much farting around on the internet this week I'm surprised our TS dept. hasn't come to my office and shut me down. I keep checking people.com, cnn.com, babycenter, my mom's group website, and a Wisconsin mom's website.

That teacher that ran away with her 13 year old student...now that is gross. Seriously, what was she thinking? She has an 8 year old daughter that she totally abondoned for a sexual relationship with a 13 year old?!?!? YUCK. Obviously she has some mental problems so hopefully she can get the help she needs. What would ever attract a 25 year old woman to a 13 year old boy?

OK enough random bitching. I'm sure I'll be back soon.

Wonderful Weekend

Our weekend was so relaxing! We stayed at the Wild Eagle Lodge in Eagle River, about 2 hours north of here. You can check it out at www.wildeaglelodge.com. Our "room" was $109 for a bedroom with a king bed, whirlpool, 2 bedrooms, full living room, dining room, fully stocked kitchen and balcony. It was like a little house. We just loved it and will definitely go back again.

Paige stayed at my mom and dad's and had a blast. She has been rather clingy the last few days so I know she really missed us.

OK the time change sucks. She has been getting up at 5:30am the past few mornings. I have no idea why because before the time change she was getting up around 7-7:30m. She was such a crab this morning.

Trick or treating was fun too. A little cold and windy, but we all had a ball and Paige looked adorable!

Work is very slow and boring right now and I'm in the office all week with hardly anything to break up the days. Ugh. I have non-work stuff I could do to keep busy, but I don't want to look unproductive.

I found a Christmas song on the radio yesterday. WTF people? Thanksgiving is still over 3 weeks away. Halloween was just last week. I think we can wait a little while yet. But speaking of that I better call Sears for an appointment for pictures.

Later chicas, have a good day!

NOT GUILTY!!!!

Ok so this is kinda old news, but wanted to share it with my ya yas anyway. My dad was found not guilty on Thursday October 18th on all 5 sexual assault charges!!!! The trial was the 15th-18th and went to the jury around 12:30pm on Thursday the 18th. They deliberated for 8 1/2 LONG hours and finally around 9pm read the verdict. It was so emotional I can't even describe it. I'm trying to find some video of it, but here are a few stories:
http://www.wbay.com/Global/story.asp?s=7232846

Here's a few with video:
http://www.wfrv.com/content/news/breaking/story.aspx?content_id=2063821C-2032-4DFC-9F0E-1D2E6C3837B9&gsa=true

http://www.myfoxnewisconsin.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=4CD11BBD3B4F51131F29E7B0CB3619E1?contentId=4682904&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1

http://www.nbc26.com/news/local/10660636.html

I'm in the red sweatshirt and brown pants, Mike is in the blue shirt and my grandma is in the white sweater. You can also see my sister who is blonde in the blue shirt and her husband who is in a light yellow and my mom. I was wearing a nice blouse under that sweatshirt but started to shiver and get really cold from the stress so I put that fleece on.

It's really hard to put into words the emotions we all felt not only that day but the entire week. The trial was awful to sit through, I actually had to leave the courtroom a few times. Thank god Mike was there to help me get through it. The waiting for the verdict was the worst. Thank god again there was a church nearby where we spent most of the day. We prayed and broke down a few times. Someone had brought in a meat, cheese and veggie tray for us to eat while we waited. I tried to eat a little but I couldn't. Around 7pm I started to breakdown a little and by 8pm I was beside myself.

I guess the silver lining in this is that we really saw the goodness in people that week. We had at least 5-10 family friends at the trial most of the time and people brought over so much food it was crazy. We also had so many people praying for us.

We did have a scare on Wednesday of the trial; around 10am my dad passed out while the police chief from their town was testifying and basically recounting his interrogation of my dad. My dad hadn't been eating or drinking much that week, was still running, and it was hot in that courtroom. Plus it was packed with people and the media. After about 45 minutes he was ok, thank goodness. His skin was this awful gray-green color. Of course the media had a field day with that. Here's one story: http://www.wfrv.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=494FB213-8AF3-4BB4-A6AB-32BE8FAA651C&gsa=true

My mom also testified and you can see that on the same website.

So anyway our lives can get back to normal and Paige can be alone with her grandpa again! They are coming up tonight to go trick or treating with us and are watching her this weekend while Mike and I go on a little weekend getaway. We are celebrating our 6th wedding anniversary a month late.

No baby news. We quit trying last month and will probably start back up again soon, but we are not going to get all caught up in it like we did.

OK back to work!

I'm Still Alive

Yes, I'm still here, just super busy (but aren't we all). Just need to watch my personal computer time at work because apparantely Big Brother is watching us. There were rumors that they are recording and monitoring our phone calls as well, but our computer people say that's not true. I think it is true, but what do I know?

Life is busy. Still plugging along on the weight loss thing. Kind of slacking in the exercise department the last week or so as I have had lots of mom's group stuff in the evenings. I'm not weighing myself, but my clothes are fitting better so that's a good thing.

Still not preggo which sucks the big one. Everyone in my mom's group is announcing that they are preggo or they are about to deliver. It's starting to piss me off. I actually cried last night at a moms group get together when one of them announced she is pregnant-and she's a friend of mine too. If I'm not this month, then Mike is getting tested, I don't care if he doesn't like it. I had bloodwork done in July which was normal, so the next step is to have him tested. He said let's try another month or 2, well it's 2 months, so step up big guy.

We had to surrender Duke at the end of July which was heartbreaking. 3 days later we adopted a wonderful lab/retriever mix named Dutchess. She is the best! She adores Paige and follows her wherever she goes. She has no manners and is a jumper, but we are working on that. She's about a year old and has the sweetest temperment, very mellow and laidback. We are keeping her in a crate during the day and meals, and she is going in there on her own now when she wants to be left alone.

I can't believe it's September already! I'm loving the cool weather. I thought it was supposed to be in the 70's today so I picked out a dress for Paige. Well she got up early and CRANKY and Mike had the oh so fun task of getting her dressed and off to the sitter's. He tried to convince her that it was too cool for a dress, but no dice. That girl would live in dresses if I let her. I'm sure she got cold, but she won't admit it.

We went to the Milwaukee zoo this past weekend which is about 3 hours away-it was awesome. I don't have the pix in photobucket yet, but I'll post them when I do. Here are a few recent ones:

I think I posted them on FFF but oh well. OK back to the grind.

2 pounds down, 48 to go

YAHOO, I lost 2 pounds last week! I exercised a total of 2 hours, dietician recommended 2.5 total per week, so I think 2 in my first week is pretty darn awesome. I ate 5 fruits and veggies 2 days last week, and 4 the other days.

This week so far, I walked for a half hour Sunday night while Mike gave Paige a bath, and then did a 35 minute aerobics video last night. Paige was sitting on Mike's lap playing computer games, but then as soon as she saw me getting ready to work out, she decided to do the video with me. It was so darn cute! She kept up with me the whole 35 minutes, even did the stretch at the end! We did a lot of grapevines at the beginning and when we weren't doing them she would say "I wanna do a grapevine mama." When it was done, she wanted to do it again, but I said we were done for the night! I think I'm taking tonight off. We have to get her flower girl dress repaired tonight for my cousin's wedding in a few weeks. She's the flower girl in that one too. We're going to the same lady we used for the alterations, I'm hoping she's a miracle worker because this dress is destroyed. In my saving money mission, I'm too cheap to buy a new one. I thought I could repair it myself, but no dice.

I may lose 10 pounds tomorrow at work. We are doing car seat appointments all day in 95 degree heat. YIPEE.

We had a very productive weekend. Again in my saving money mission, I decided we don't need to pay $30/month for a storage unit which holds our crap. So I asked my parents to come up and watch Paige Saturday AM and they did while Mike and I took the truck to our storage unit. I love that man dearly, but some days....well some days I don't like him so much. Saturday was one of those days. Earlier in the week, he gets the bright idea that we should re-list our house and therefore should keep the storage unit. Um, no. Not right now. So then we get out there and I start to make a goodwill pile, a keep pile and a going to the dump pile. I was brutal, if we didn't need it, it was going to goodwill. We kept the baby stuff and Christmas stuff. As I'm putting stuff in the goodwill pile, Mike suggests that we have a yard sale. WTF MAN?!?!?! No, I said, we have babysitters for Paige and I don't want to rent tables, price stuff, organize it, advertise a rummage sale and then sit outside while people paw through our stuff. When we are done having babies, I will have a done having babies rummage sale, but I'm not having one to sell our useless crap. Then he got slightly huffy, whatever. Then he sees his prized car stereo system that is easily 15 years old and says he's going to put that in the truck. It's one of those that takes up the whole back seat so no one can sit there. Apparently, the car seat in the truck suddenly became invisible and he forgot the fact that we do occasionally take Paige (and Duke) in the truck. UGH!!!!! Then he says he's going to sell it. So I told him he has a month to get rid of it and if it's not gone, I'm taking it to Goodwill. I'm still not sure where it ended up. It's probably hidden in our garage somewhere. So we took a truckload to the dump, a truckload to Goodwill and a truckload back to our house. We cleaned out and swept the garage, and then loaded this stuff into the corner of it. This is where having a 3 car garage really pays off. We can fit the truck, my Taurus, our boat and tons of bins in there. I'm rather disgusted that we spent $30/month for the past 2 years to store stuff we actually threw away.

Saturday night we went to a baseball game with Paige and my mom's group. There's a team in Green Bay of college boys home for the summer. Can we say yummy eye candy? We may go this Friday night with a mom and her husband from my mom's group that I've gotten to be friends with. He's a doctor, so she stays home and money is no object. But she's really nice and so is he. I'm not 100% sure I should go because our American Cancer Society Relay for Life is Friday night and I "should" work at it to get people signed up for anti-tobacco stuff. We'll see. The game would be more fun so I'm going to ask our seamstress tonight if her daughter can babysit on Friday night.

This Saturday we are getting Paige's 3 year old pictures taken at Sears. I hope they turn out. We're getting them taken a few months late...ooops.

Work is slow and boring and my boss is gone this week. This day is dragging on. I got here at 9am and haven't really done anything. At least I get to leave at 2:30pm for my therapist appointment.

OK, off to look busy.

My ya yas

really are the best. Thank you all for your words of encouragement and understanding on my last blog. They made me cry and appreciate how awesome you all are!!! YA YAS RULE!!!

So I had my dietician appointment yesterday. It went fairly well. The information she gave me wasn't really earth shattering, but it was good to hear. I am going to focus on portion sizes (measuring out food before I eat it), eating more fruits and veggies (at least 5/day) and getting 2.5 hours of exercise a week. I need to eventually get down to 1400-1600 calories a day, and she thinks I've been eating about 2200 calories/day based on my food journal. Holy crap. And I was trying to be good about what I ate because I knew I'd have to journal it and show it to her. How many calories was I eating before the food journal. I don't really want to think about it I guess. But for right now I'm just going to focus on fruits and veggies because eating those means I'll be eating less of the other not so healthy foods, which means less calories. I'm not counting calories right now. I'm going to read food labels so I'm aware of what I'm putting in my mouth, but I'm not going to obsess about it.

So being the anal detailed list kind of person I am, I whipped up a calendar for myself to help keep me on track. On the top of each day, I'm going to write in what I'm going to cook for supper. It's not necessarily going to be a super healthy one, but just a meal so I'm not scrambling around the kitchen at 5:30pm trying to defrost meat and figure out what I can cook based on the ingredients I have. Oh and keep Paige entertained. Then I have a space to write in the amount of exercise I get per day and a numbered column (1-5) for fruits and veggies. Every time I eat a serving of fruits or veggies, I check it off. I have it posted on my fridge so I see it every time I go in the kitchen. I also asked Mike to pick up more fruit at the grocery store last night and I cooked green beans from our garden with supper.

I'm meeting with the dietician in 7 weeks so I'm hoping to lose 11 pounds by then. I think I'll be able to do it. No, I WILL DO IT!!!

Therapist is this afternoon. I'll probably bawl the whole time. Should be interesting.

Off to go drink my smoothie...2 servings of fruit in there...YAHOO!!!!

Could They Make it Any more Difficult?

My god, I've spent the last hour on the phone with my insurance company, therapists, dr. office, and a hospital. All I want is to see a therapist and nutritionist to help me lose weight but my god these people all make it so difficult. First call was to insurance to check on benefits, coverage and providers for this stuff. Dieticians are covered as long as they are through a hospital or clinic that is takes our insurance. Easy enough, I'll just go through one of the hospitals in Green Bay. The guy I talked to wasn't 100% sure, but thought I'd just have to pay $30 office visit co pay. Therapy is covered as long as it is one of their therapists, again at $30 co/pay. There is one clinic in town that they cover with several therapists, so I call to make an apt. and the secretary isn't in on Wednesdays or Fridays. WTF?!?!? So I go on the internet to find a dietician at a hospital in Green Bay. One of the hospitals is Bellin and I know they take my insurance, but I call the insurance company back just to double check and this time I talk to someone who tells me that if they provide the dietetic services as an outpaitent service at the hospital, I have to pay for everything up to my deductible ($1500) then 20% for everything after that. WTF?!?!?! If it's at a clinic, then I only pay the OV $30 co/pay. UUGGGHHHH. But she says even if they (the hospital) charges $100, insurance might only allow $50 and I'd only have to pay $50. But she couldn't tell me what they allow because they are in Minnesota and I'm in Wisconsin. Again WTF!?!?!?!? So I call Patient Scheduling at Bellin and hold it together and don't break down crying while asking to see a dietician for weight loss. I mean do you have any idea how embarrassing this has all been? And the chick tells me I need a dr. referral to see a dietician for weight loss. Well Jesus F'ing Christ, now I really lose it. Just what I need. To pay $30 to see my dr. so she can tell me yes indeed you really are fat and I will refer you to a dietician, who we still don't know how much will cost you. So I hang up and break down crying. After I compose myself 10 minutes later, I call the ob/gyn's office that I just saw last week and ask them to make a referral to Bellin for weight loss. Again humiliating. But the chick I talked to was very sweet and helpful and said the dr. will do that for me. So now I wait to hear back from the therapist and Bellin to see if they will see me. I just tried calling my mom to vent, but no one is home. I put the do not disturb sign on my door and forwarded my calls to voicemail. I'm tempted to go home sick this afternoon. We'll see.

OK, the therapist office just left me a message on my cell phone. They do accept my insurance, so one step in the right direction.

In case you are wondering why I'm going through this trouble, I must tell you that my eating issues are emotional. Jenny Craig, WW, etc. just won't cut it for me. I eat for emotional reasons that I just don't want to get into. I have realized that I have a very addictive personality.

But I can't go on like this. I'm embarrassed to be out in public sometimes because of how heavy I am. I can't even hardly look at the pix from my sister's wedding because of how big I am. The photographer posed me behind Kristin for the picture of just me and her and put me in the back in the group pictures and I know why. I look like a whale standing next to her. The family picture of us is especially disgusting, my mom dad and sister are twigs and here I am the giant yellow whale.

My bloodwork came back from the ob/gyn office and everything is normal so I guess that's good. Even my lipid panel and glucose are normal and healthy which is good considering my weight and how fast I've gained. The next step we discussed was having mike's swimmers tested. I guess we'll talk about that tonight. She is also going to look at my operative report from March 2005 when my ovarian cyst was removed. Hopefully nothing serious happened from that.

AF is due anyday now so I'm just waiting to find out if I'm pregnant or not. I'm so emotional so I probably have PMS and the old bitch is on her way.

A Plan

So I met with the new ob/gyn in town yesterday and really liked her. We talked about my inability to get knocked up and she doesn't really consider me infertile yet because we've been trying for 9 months. If it's been a year, then we start talking infertility. But I decided I want to be a bit more aggressive and am having blood drawn tomorrow for testing. If my tests come back normal, Mike has to have his swimmers tested. That would be interesting. If those are normal, then I have that test where they shoot dye into your tubes. I've heard that's painful, so I'm hoping all is normal.

Well actually in a weird way I'm hoping they find something wrong with my bloodwork-well something that can be fixed with medication. What if everything is normal, but we just can't get pregnant for some reason? This month I didn't do any opks or anything, we just tried and tried and tried and tried this past weekend. It was very enjoyable!

I stayed home with Paige last week and just loved it. Her sitter was closed for the week. It is so hard being here. I actually told Mike last night that I want to be a SAHM. I would love to be home with her-I can't even believe I'm thinking that. But do I really want to throw away my career? I do like my job and am proud of the fact that I'm good at it. Money would be extremely tight, we're not even sure that it's possible. All I know is that I loved last week and that it's been a horrible adjustment being back at work this week. We tossed around having me go down to 3 days a week. I'm waiting for my boss to be in the right mood for me to approach her. We shall see.

OK off to eat lunch and then car seat apts. this afternoon.

Excavation Awareness

OK, most days I love my job, but the county in their infinate wisdom decided last fall that all employees will be required to take a monthly online safety course. I guess this is our "wellness program." Lovely. So most of them have been relevant to my work, but last month was Work Zone Safety (basically it only applied to the Highway Dept. employees) and the one I just took was Excavation Awarenss, about different types of soils and trenches. WTF? And there's a quiz after each one that you must get at least an 80% on to pass. Thank god I've passed all of mine so far. If I would have had to sit through this excavation one again....yikes.

OK so my mom's group is starting to chap my ass again. When I first joined we had about 50 members. When it hit 80 members a few months ago there was talk of closing the group off to new members, but the organizers said no. Now we are up to 94 members and we get at least 1 or 2 new members every week. The meetups are filling up so fast that unless you are sitting on the computer waiting for a new one to show up and RSVP for it, you'll never get in. Most of them fill up before I can even check my yahoo email at night. Ridiculous. I emailed 2 girls I've gotten to be friends with bitching about it last week, and one of them invited me and the other to her house last week for supper. It was really fun, except Paige was rather clingy. We were there for about 2 hours and Paige didn't warm up to the other 2 girls her age until about 10 minutes before we left. The other 2 moms feel the same way, so we'll probably just keep getting together on our own. I'd rather do that anyway than a big meetup with like 25 moms and kids there. Paige doesn't do so well at those either.

Now there's a thread on the board about not immunizing your kids, and if you know anything about me, you know that will get my blood boiling. Immunizations work people! Have you heard of anyone getting polio in the last 20 years? No? Well there's a reason!!!!! And I personally think it's great that new vaccines are coming out. I wish the rotavirus vaccine would have been out when Paige was a baby so we wouldn't have had to go through that week of hell of her having the rotavirus. That is a nasty disease, not to mention dangerous with the risk of dehydration. I must share with you this post which drives me nuts:

"I have chosen not to immunize my children. At this point I am fairly comfortable with that. There some immunizations we probably should consider, particularly tetanus. The chicken pox vaccine is not one I want my kids to have. I think it is far better for them to be exposed naturally. But these days, that will be hard to come by.

Ironically, it seems that there is currently a strain of pertussis (whooping cough) going around in the area. Yes, I mean Green Bay. My child has been unwell with a cough that has grown progressively worse for three weeks. Only today did the pediatrician say that perhaps she may have whooping cough. Of course there is no treatment for it. While it is dangerous for an infant to have this condition, it is not deadly to older person. I do have to say that if my daughter does have whooping cough, it is a scary illness to witness, because the coughs are lengthy and often provoke vomiting and the appearance of not being able to breathe.

Despite the possibility that she may have an illness that we could have immunized against, I am not sorry we did not. It is important to remember that immunizations 'wear out' so we as adults are not necessarily immunized.

There are concerns that each parent has to consider when deciding to immunize, or not. For us, a family history of a particular condition helped me decide against it."

So even after your kid has a vaccine-preventable illness, that still doesn't change your mind?!?!?! UGH!!!!!

OK off my soapbox.

Our weekend was fun. Had a mom's group playdate on Saturday morning which was fun. There were 5 moms and 9 kids so it was just the right size. Came home for lunch and nap, then back to Green Bay to visit Paige's best friend Grace. They had a blast together and we got home way too late! After Paige's bath, she didn't get to bed until 10pm.

Sunday morning went to church and grocery shopping. Paige was so excited ("I'm so exciting!" her favorite phrase) to do Kid's Gospel at our church. They take kids 4-4th grade back into a classroom in the school during a part of church and they have their own reading, songs, and craft. They are usually gone for about 20 minutes which is kind of nice. I've always gone back with Paige since she's only 3, but she wanted to go by herself yesterday. At the end of church, the priest calls the kids up to the front so he can look at their pictures and oh and ah over them....he's a sucker for the little ones. Then the kids walk out with the priest. Well Paige missed the bottom step down and fell right in the front of church in front of everyone. She was so upset and we were way in the back so it took me a couple of seconds to get to her. It was so heartbreaking to see my baby's face all scrunched up and crying...she was still walking up the aisle, but she was so sad. Poor girl. She was rather whiny during grocery shopping so I think she was pretty sad about it. But after a good lunch and nice long nap she was much better in the afternoon. We played outside and then had brats on the grill for supper. MMM...love summertime food like that.

And now I've been at work for an hour and all I've done is that stupid online course. I should probably go be productive. Later ya yas!

Tired

What a long day; left the house at 7am, didn't get home until 10pm. I met with 2 of my legislators in their offices (well, their staff people). Had an appointment with a third, but his office was dark and locked up. Rude. The public hearing started at 1pm and I didn't get to speak until about 5:30pm. It was a long afternoon. But it was awesome because us smoke free people outnumbered the opposition by at least 4 to 1. They were getting so frustrated, it was great!

Busy couple of days ahead of me. My sister's bridal shower and bach party on Saturday, then we are meeting some friends at the zoo on Sunday. Next week is just crazy at work. Monday night a seamstress is coming to my house to do the bridesmaids dress alterations. I did my first tanning session yesterday, was hoping to do another one tonight, but didn't get back to town in time. Will have to go tomorrow since I have a month unlimited, have to take advantage of it. I have to call my hairdresser to reschedule today's appointment (for the 2nd time, had to reschedule one from last week!). AGH! Also have to get a girdle/shaper thing for the wedding since the seamstress wants me to wear it on Monday when she does the alterations. The fun never ends. Oh and I have to make a dip for the shower on Saturday.

Had dinner last night with a couple of friends with my moms group. These two girls are super cool and I'm so glad we met and became friends. We're supposed to have a playdate tomorrow but I think I may cancel on it since life is so crazy right now, I need a day at home to veg. Well veg as much as I can chasing after an active 3 year old.

Off to bed!

The Classic Dames Test

This is me:

Your Score: Myrna Loy

You scored 16% grit, 19% wit, 28% flair, and 47% class!

You are class itself, the calm, confident "perfect woman." Men turn and look at you admiringly as you walk down the street, and even your rivals have a grudging respect for you. You always know the right thing to say, do and, of course, wear. You can take charge of a situation when things get out of hand, and you're a great help to your partner even if they don't immediately see or know it. You are one classy dame. Your screen partners include William Powell and Cary Grant, you little simmerpot, you.

Find out what kind of classic leading man you'd make by taking the Classic Leading Man Test.

Link: The Classic Dames Test written by gidgetgoes on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Fun!

I Got It

The Regent that is. Well I ordered it anyway. I can't believe I'm buying this huge ass car seat, but I have to. Paige is the size of an average 5 year old and has outgrown the Evenflo in Mike's car. She's close to outgrowing the Marathon in my car. So we're putting the Marathon in Mike's and the Regent in mine. After she outgrows the Marathon, I'm not really sure what we are doing. Evenflo is coming out with a convertible that is supposed to harness to 50 pounds and 50 inches in July; that's supposed to run about $100. Hopefully it will get good reviews because that might be my only option.

The weekend went well. Lots of driving, but Paige had a great time and was very well behaved overall. The packing and unpacking was a pain in the ass, but not as bad as I thought. I wish we wouldn't have had to drive 2.5 hours one way over to Mike's grandpa's house on Sunday for his brother's going away party (going into the Air Force) but we left Paige with my family and made the most of our time together. Wink Wink. Twice actually.

We got back in time to go to the Memorial Day Parade in town where Paige got a ton of candy! She had a blast picking it up and putting it in her wagon. She liked most of it except when the semis went by and honked their horns.

Now I'm back at work trying to catch up from being gone so much last week and my boss keeps dumping crap on me. I'm taking off Thursday to go testify at a hearing at our state capitol in favor of 100% smoke free workplaces throughout the state, including bars and restaurants. The Tavern League will be out in full force so it will get nasty, but I'm excited about it. It's so ridiculous that we have to pick and choose where we will eat because some places allow smoking. Sorry, your food may be good but I'm not exposing my child to that crap that comes out of your cigarette.

Stressed

Never again will I be a matron of honor. This is so stressful. And the kicker is that I know I'm making it more stressful than it needs to be. I feel like I have to be the activity director for the night, and I've never gone out in the town we are going to. So I have no clue which bars are fun, or even where they are. I just have this bad feeling people are going to be looking to me to direct them where to go. Why am I feeling like that? Adding to my stress is the fact that not only do people not respond in the first place, but they DON'T RETURN PHONE MESSAGES!!!! WTF people?!?! How hard is it to just take a minute out of your day and say yes I'm coming or no I'm not coming. You have my cell and home numbers. I have voicemail on both. Grrrrr.....

My period started today so we are going to be trying for our 8th month. I think that's all I'm going to say about that or I will start crying.

We are going up north this weekend to my sister's and her fiance's cabin and I guess it's still quite primitive. They have no stove, so we are bringing our little grill. We're basically camping in a cabin. We have to bring our own sheets, towels, blankets and all of our food. Also lawn chairs. This should be interesting. I'm so stressed about packing all of this stuff. Part of me just wants to stay home but then I know we'd get bored hanging around the house all weekend. I just hate packing and unpacking. Plus I'm such a homebody, sometimes going away for the weekend stresses me out. I have a bad feeling about Paige too. I'm sure she won't get enough sleep and be a real bear.

I don't know what to do about Paige. She is so defiant and just plain doesn't listen. What am I doing wrong? She makes everything difficult. I have to go pick her up soon from the sitter's and as awful as this sounds, I just plain don't want to. I wish I could sit here alone in peace and quiet until I go out for coffee with my mom's group tonight.

OK, off to enjoy about 10 minutes of peace and quiet.