Those in my playgroup probably saw this coming, so you can stop reading now if you want. Another mom in the group, an aquaintence who I've always liked and wanted to get to know better, just announced on FB that she is pregnant. She has struggled for a while to get preggo and we were kind of in this "getting knocked up" journey together. Now I'm alone. Yes, I'm happy for her, I really am. But on the other hand, when I read that, it was like getting kicked in the stomach and going "WHY NOT ME?!?!!?" What am I doing wrong? What are we doing wrong? Or what have we done to deserve this?
I went to resolve.org, a really nice website dealing with all things infertility. They have message boards and I signed up for them. I can't activate my account until I check my yahoo email at home.
A few weeks ago, our CPS workers took a newborn baby out of her home, I don't know exactly why other than she was born with drugs in her system. Her loser parents came in every day for visitation for a few hours in the conference room RIGHT NEXT DOOR. They were always at least 10 minutes late, the "dad" once tested positive for pot in his system, and each have 5 kids with other people. They run a meth house and are in their mid 20's. Their worker has the office right across from mine so I overheard way too much and saw the baby way too much. I finally held her yesterday and she curled up like a little bean on my shoulder and fell asleep. I wanted to cry. I want to cry now typing this. Yesterday they had a court hearing and the biological parents got her back. Why? This poor baby will never have a chance.
I'm so frustrated that I have to wait almost a month before seeing Dr. O'Toole to get a second opinion. I'm going to call tomorrow and see if I can get anything sooner. I'm also going to ask that they get my records from Severino and that Dr. O'Toole reviews them prior to my appointment as I've been through all the initial stuff. I want him to look at the x-rays from my HSG and give me a definitive answer and whether or not he thinks it's worth my time and effort to have a repeat HSG. I've heard this clinic is wonderful, but I have a bad taste in my mouth from the way the receptionist treated me.
2 comments:
Oh honey, I just want to give you a big ole hug!!
de-lurking to empathize with you.
I went off the pill in 2001.
He's no boyscout.
I just haven't reached a point where I'm willing to talk to my dr about it. I'd rather have a small glimmer of hope before someone tells me for certain my system is screwed up.
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